Dixie Peach: You're Off The Hook - Somewhat

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

You're Off The Hook - Somewhat

Much to your everlasting relief chagrin, I don't have much in the way of knitting talk this week. I'm still knitting on Paula's second sock and I told Poppy the other day that I'm suffering from S.S.S. but in this case it means Second Sock Slowdown. I knit like gangbusters (I like it when I can slip in an old fogy term like "gangbusters") on the first sock and then take twice as much time to finish the second sock as it took me to do the first. This may be why I like to knit for others rather than knit for myself because if the sock is for someone else I feel at least a little pressure to get it finished.

The photos I've seen of socks done in Opal Hundertwasser yarn I have shows an example of a sock with vertical stripes. I think this particular yarn looks so interesting with vertical striping that I found the English translation of the German pattern for this particular sock. It's knitted flat, sewn together with a seam at the back and then put on dpns to make the toe. Poppy mentioned to me that a seam may be uncomfortable and I'm inclined to agree with her but I still may give it a whirl just to see what it's like. Maybe I can sew it super flat. Or what if I made the first row on waste yarn and then when it's time to sew the seam, pull out the waste yarn to make live stitches and then just Kitchener stitch it closed and thereby avoiding a seam? Any thoughts from you other knitters? Any thoughts from you non-knitters? I'm just begging for comment love, aren't I?

Yarn talk is officially over. You can uncover your eyes now.

While having a nap this afternoon I had a dream where I could see my ex-husband standing with some other people on the other side of a road. I don't remember much about the dream except I had shoulder length strawberry blond hair that was in tiny, tiny curls and in the dream I went home after having seen my ex and wanted to go back to talk to him. I wasn't married to him in the dream but as I remember it, I wasn't married to B either. And I think my mother lived with me.

It bugs the shit out of me when I dream about my ex-husband. When we were married I virtually never dreamed about him. In my dreams I very seldom dream about anyone I know in real life (I'm either in dreams with strangers or the people I know in dreams don't exist in real life) but since we divorced I occasionally dream about my ex - once every few months sometimes. In the dream I was thinking of when I last saw my ex, thinking it was sometime in 2001 or 2003 but in reality I haven't seen nor heard from him since I last saw him in the clerk of the court's office while we signed our divorce decree nearly ten years ago. That's what irks me. I thought I was shed of him and he invades my dreams. He probably wants me to fetch him a glass of iced tea or bring him his supper so he can eat it in front of the TV.

And what really bugged me was waking up and thinking "When was the last time I saw him? Did I see him in 2001?". It pissed me off so much to think of my ex after having woke up from a nap that it ruined my whole post-nap groove.

After my ruined nap groove I took my dog, Bonnie, out for a walk. We were a few blocks from my apartment building and were walking along a grassy area and Bonnie needed to poop. Actually Bonnie wasn't feeling too well and she had diarrhea. Not just regular diarrhea but something akin to water. Now let me say that I am very good about picking up after my dog. I don't go anywhere without a plastic freezer bag in my pocket - cause I don't just want plastic between my hand and dog poop but want thick plastic between my hand and dog poop. However this instance a plastic bag wasn't going to clean anything up. Nothing short of holding a paper cup under my dog's rear while she proceeded to evacuate her bowels would have helped so we walked away. I didn't pick anything up because there wasn't anything to pick up. You could hardly see where specifically landed. And just about that time an old woman, who evidently saw my squatting dog, hollered out of her apartment window from a good 20 yards away "You need to clean up after that dog! You there! Clean up after your dog!". I whirled around and hollered back "I can't!" and was told by the old woman that I needed to bring things with me to clean up after my dog.

Jeez, that irked me. Maybe it wouldn't have irked me so much if my post-nap groove hadn't been ruined but there it was. That's when I whipped the plastic bag out of my back pocket, waved it in her direction and shouted back "I have something! My dog has diarrhea like water! It can't be picked up".

You could read the visible "Ewwwww!" on the faces of those standing at the bus stop who were witnessing the confrontation.

I'd be temped to blame this on it being a stereotypical anal retentive German obsessed with cleanliness who was shouting out her window to me but that wouldn't be completely true. I really blame it on city living. Living in a city puts you in much closer contact with busybodies who love to dictate to others how they should live than what you'd find in a small town or suburbs. Every urban area has it's people who lack a life of their own and have nothing better to do than look out their windows in hopes of catching someone not holding their mouth just right. Bombay, Cape Town, London, Beijing, Brooklyn, Cairo - every one of them has someone hanging out a window ready to pounce on the unsuspecting person walking their diarrhea stricken dog.

And for good measure I'll blame my ex-husband as well.

Labels: , , ,


Blogger Kathy said...

I think blaming the ex-husband works just fine. Plus, ewwww, what could you have done about the dog? Nothing that I can tell but that woman wanted you to anyway.

3:35 AM  
Blogger The Lone Beader® said...

Those are cute! I'd love to own some stripey stocks like that=:)

8:04 AM  
Blogger The Big Finn said...

Please add every city/town/hamlet in Switzerland to your "busybodies" list.
How did I not know that you have a dog? We've been without a dog now for almost two years. The "cleaning up after the diarrhea" thing brought back memories. I used to just fake picking something up in that situation just to avoid the wrath of Swissy! One time I had a couple actually go investigate a patch of grass right after our dog had peed to make sure it hadn't pooped. After "approving", I asked them "Sind Sie die Scheisse Polizei?"
They walked away in a huff...

8:20 AM  
Blogger Isabelle said...

I totally agree.. blame the ex-husband. Hope your dog feels better soon!

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Mine got me today too. A bit of garbage had fallen out of the container and was lying on the ground. Behind the house. Completely out of sight. No one knew it was there. No one who wasn't specifically looking for it could have possibly seen it.

We'd just arrived home laden from shopping all morning when Herr Bossybritches pounced as we were walking through the door... "COME here! I want you to SEE something...", like there'd been a murder.


Maybe he was a watchmaker before he retired.

3:09 PM  
Blogger jafabrit said...

Wouldn't it have been funny if you had added "hey I didn't bring my sieve, you want to loan me yours?

I found you by way of goodblogs, but I am also a fan of lone beaders and followed here here LOL!

take care and hope no more dreams involved the ex

6:56 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Katya - I love it when you and I think alike!

LB - You're the one that makes all the really cute stuff!

TBF - I could have sworn you knew I had a dog. My next entry introduces her to you.

Isabelle - Thanks! Bonnie's much better today!

Lisa - I wish those people would leave you alone but I know what it's like. In our old building the naggy lady living below my MIL kept complaining to her she could hear the wall clock tick. What crap - that clock makes no noise whatsoever.

jafabrit - Thanks for dropping in - come back more often! The sieve comment killed me!

And by the way, I adore tea as well. :)

11:33 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Perhaps next time Bonnie has a more substantial poo, you can deliver the bag to that woman. That might ease her concerns. :)

1:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home