Time to pack up...I think!

I need a new kitchen. A whole new kitchen. New cabinets, new appliances, new everything except a kitchen table. For those who may not know, in Germany people often live in apartments or homes that are just empty shells and you put in your own kitchens and bathroom stuff. Anyway, it's going to be a pain in the ass to put in a new kitchen. There's buying it, getting the delivery arranged and then just before the kitchen is delivered and installed you have to coordinate getting the old kitchen removed, getting new wallpaper and paint, getting new flooring installed, getting electric sockets put in or having the radiator moved a foot this way or that. It's a headache but a necessary one if you ever want to get a new kitchen. Add to that that we also need new carpet and paint in the livingroom and so on and you'll see that we have renovation headaches ahead. It's just a pain to renovate around a quadriplegic.

We found out a couple months ago that the people living above us are moving to a new home. They have a handicap apartment as well and B and I both got the idea to move to their apartment. If we did that the new kitchen could be installed without us being put out here plus all the other renovation could be done in peace. Of course you trade one sort of headache for another - you have to actually pack all your stuff and move, get the utilities changed, etc. but there would be no kitchen downtime nor having to wrap B in plastic to be able to paint the ceiling above him. And then there's the added attraction of getting away from the family living below us - the family with the seven kids. We toyed with the idea and then we sort of put the idea on a back burner until my MIL told us a little tidbit of information that put our collective asses in gear.

Let me give a little background. About three years ago my MIL briefly, briefly dated a man from the neighborhood that B and I refer to as "Pampers Butt". He walks like he's wearing a giant Pampers and it's in need of changing. My MIL quickly found out that this man is not only weird and annoying but he's cloying and irritating and she'd rather shove sharp sticks in her eye than have anything else to do with him.

Pampers Butt's son and DIL live in a nearby building. He had some sort of brain episode - something strokish or whatever - and he's now unable to walk and so on. And to make matters worse, he's a SOB. Not due to his brain episode - he was a SOB before that. Anyway, the SOB and his wife have been over to my neighbor's apartment to check it out to see if they want to live there. This is not good. This is worse than not good, actually. It's not that Pampers Butt will be around here. I mean I'd just as soon tell that guy to fuck off as eat a bug so no worries there but we know from the SOB's neighbors that he screams and rants at his wife all day long and they play loud, loud music.

So let me get this straight. I have the potential to live wedged between the SOB screamer above me and seven screaming kids below me? Not in this lifetime.

My MIL called the rental company (she loves to do stuff like this and she knows [i]everyone[/i] there) and asked if someone has requested my neighbor's apartment, namely the SOB and his wife. Nope. They haven't. Evidently the SOB and his wife were checking things out but as far as the rental company is concerned, that don't mean jack. They own the apartment, not my neighbor, and they decide on who can move in there. And so we put in our request to be put into that apartment as soon as it's vacated. My MIL has to go Thursday to ask about the particulars, but the apartment is pretty much ours if we want it. The SOB has never asked them to let him have it and actually my neighbor has not yet informed them that he's moving.

Now that it's likely going to happen I'm glad we're going to do it. I'm going to be glad to get away from the seven kids and it's nice to be able to renovate in peace. I would think it's likely that the SOB will take the apartment I live in now but it's better to have him below me than above me. Above is always louder than below. And he'd best be warned. People in my building are really loud noise unfriendly. I mean the reason the seven kids family has gotten away with what they have is because I'm the one living above them and I'm extra tolerant and patient about their noise. I will not be tolerant and patient with SOB screaming all day long and playing loud music and neither will any other neighbor - except for Frau Blenk. But Frau Blenk is nearly deaf.

Now we just have to also figure out when my neighbor is moving. It could be in three months or it could be in three weeks. Please don't let it be three weeks. I ain't ready to move yet and I want to pay rent on two units for at little time as possible. Plus, I need to buy a new kitchen!