Almost like starring in Green Card

My German residency visa expires on July 31 (coincidentally also my wedding anniversary) and so my MIL called the local immigration office (I make her do all my bureaucratic dirty work) to see what I'd need to do to renew it.

When I got married and was given my first residency visa I was told that it was for three years and when it became time to renew they'd verify that I had a legitimate marriage and afterwards I'd get a permanent residency visa - the equivilant of a green card. However when I was time to renew I was told I had to get a writing from the social service offices that I didn't qualify for welfare. Okay, whatever. Except that I found out that technically I did qualify for welfare based on a ridiculous formula that didn't and wouldn't take into consideration other forms of income that B and I have. Long story short, since I qualified for welfare but wouldn't apply for it they gave me another three year visa instead of a permanent one. What-the-fuck-ever. I don't take public assistance, I don't break laws, I pay taxes and I spend money in this country. Oh! And I'm married to a German citizen decended from people who have lived in this country for the past...oh...thousand years or so. I'm the one that's not a drain on the system but due to holes in the laws I can't get a permanent visa. Others who are living off the state get to stay forever. Me, it seems, they have to check out every three years. Makes me want to put on my Ugly American costume and pitch a fit about how I didn't need to come to this country to up my economic status. I came here with money, thanks.

Anyway, my MIL spoke with the immigration office and this time there's no mention of me going to see anyone with social services and any qualification for welfare bullshit. This time they were more interested in what I originally thought they would and should be interested in - whether I have a legitimate marriage or if it's just a marriage to get a residency visa. Normally B and I would both have to appear in person to the immigration office but my MIL let them know that B is disabled blah, blah, blah and the kind lady on the phone said "Oh that's fine. We can come there. We'll call them tomorrow to make an appointment. Then later your daughter-in-law can come into the office and do the paperwork, get her new visa, etc.".

Now that's just what I wanted to hear! Cooperation and understanding!

Just before noon today as I was enjoying my just-delivered-this-morning Terry Gonda CD and making tea who should arrive at my door but two people from the immigration office! Now that's clever! Say you'll call for an appointment but instead show up unannounced so you can see for sure if the couple in question are a faking it!

I think we were immediately convincing. First, I have decidedly female stuff all over the apartment. I had current knitting projects sitting out in the open. Sure, guys can knit but not quadriplegic guys. There are photos of B and me around the apartment. And if that didn't clinch it, my making out with B for ten minutes absolutely did the trick.

Alright, alright. I made the last part up. Get that look of your face!

I'm hoping that I can be seen at the immigration office next week and that I can finally get a permanent visa. And if I can't, be prepared for the scream heard 'round the world.