Not What It Seems

Last night B was dying to have some smoked ham, kale and fried potatoes from the Christmas market. I'm not a huge fan of ham and I am not keen on kale either (I'm more of a spinach girl) so I told him that I would get fish for me to eat and bring back his supper to him.

I am crazy for the fish at the Christmas market. Big pieces of filet dipped in batter and fried to a crunchy, golden brown. So crispy and delicate tasting and with a bit of remoulade on it it makes a fine sandwich when it's tucked in a lovely roll. It doesn't, however, travel too well and so when I get a hankering for fish I eat it there while it's still all hot and tasty and then get something else for B and bring it back to him.

I suppose the mild temperatures have inticed lots of people to visit the Christmas market. Every day I'm down the street far enough that I can see into the market square and it's always full of folks and being that last night was a Friday night it was really jumping. I wove my way to the nice Dutch ladies selling the heavenly fried fish and when I got my sandwich I moved to a corner where I could eat without getting in anyone's way or having them run me over. And boy, was this sandwich good. The roll was slightly cold but the fish itself was hot and crunchy and delicious and I was having a hard time not making the yummy-food-humming noise. I had a napkin wrapped around the sandwich but with the remoulade squishing around and getting on my face I had to use it to keep wiping my mouth less I look like the subject of an old joke:

A woman drives to an auto mechanic and complains that her car is leaking fluids like crazy. The mechanic tells her that he's going to have to take a look at the car and that it'll take about an hour. The lady says she'll leave the car with him and return later.

The hour passes and the woman returns. The mechanics spots her and says "Well I do know one thing. I know you've blown a seal."

The lady hastily wipes he mouth and says "Oh no - I only ate a ham sandwich!".

Anyway I ate my sandwich and watched the crowds and when I finished I wiped my mouth, threw away the napkin and went to the stand that sells the ham and kale. There was a bit of a crowd there so I had to wait for a few minutes to have my food dished up and wrapped for me to carry home. Lots of people were around me - some eating their suppers, some waiting in line, some standing and talking with others. I got my food, wrapped it in my cotton shopping bag and made my way through the crowd back to the front of the market and back out onto the street. I dodged and wove my way though people and they around me, smiling at one another if we happened to get into that dodge 'em dance you do when you shift to the same side while trying to pass. Making it out of the market square I decided I'd walk home instead of jumping on a streetcar to ride up one stop. It was still fairly mild out and I could get home before B's supper cooled off too much.

As I got into my apartment building a woman pushing a baby stroller called to me to hold the door. She came in the building and we got into the elevator together and she got off one floor before me, smiling at me and saying goodbye as she left.

When I got inside my own apartment I put B's food in the kitchen and then went into the bathroom to wash my hands and brush my hair. That's when, to my horror and shame, I noticed it.

On the underside of my nose, pretty much right between my nostrils, was a blob of remoulade looking for all the world like a wayward booger or a glop of snot.

Shiiiiiiiiiiit!!

I don't know how many people I passed while at that market. And then there was the lady selling me B's food. And the people on the street as I walked home. And the lady visiting the people that live below me that I let into the building. Dozens and dozens and dozens of people who looked at me and now think that I have no ability to clean my nose properly.

I haven't sworn off the lovely fried fish nor remoulade but I do know one thing. Next time I'm asking for an extra napkin.