Faithful Customer

I'm a fiend for eating TicTacs. I've always got a pack in my coat pocket or in my purse and I go through a pack every couple days. I get a little wiggy if I don't feel as though my breath is all minty fresh and since I am not much of gum chewer I've opted for breath mints.

Somehow B and I got on the topic of my ridiculous TicTac consumption and I told him that while I do love TicTacs, I've become a full-time TicTac-er only since my move to Germany. Before then my mint preference was for the not-to-be-found-in-Germany Certs.

Now really, one breath mint is pretty much like the other - with the exception of Mentos which are too chewy and candy-like for me. Smints are okay except I'm not crazy about how you have to keep pushing the little dispenser button to get multiple Smints. This is an important consideration for me because I can't eat just one mint - I have to eat a minimum of three at a time. Breath Savers were good if I couldn't get Certs or TicTacs but my heart really does belong to Certs.

Now if mints are pretty much the same, why do I have a long standing devotion to Certs? American Bandstand. Certs were a sponsor of American Bandstand and from the time I started watching AB as a wee small child until I gave it up as soon as Madonna made a guest appearance, my consumer preferences were strongly influenced by commercials seen while watching American Bandstand. Certs, Dentyne gum, Noxzema skin cream, Cover Girl make-up, Ultra Brite toothpaste, Love's Baby Soft cologne,Stridex acne pads, Clearasil, Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific shampoo - if it was advertised on AB then I knew it had to be a required item for growing up right in America. Stick with the sponsors and I'd be assured to have a perfectly made up zit free face, shiny, good smelling hair, white teeth and fresh breath and a cloud of boy enticing powdery scent following my every step. What impressionable young teen wouldn't want that?

I eventually learned that Madison Avenue ad executives don't always tell the truth about the power of their products and that using the right one wouldn't guarantee happiness or your current crush asking you to the dance after Saturday night's basketball game. I gave up the Noxzema, Stridex and Clearasil after it made my skin so raw it hurt, chose a line of make up more suitable for a more mature person, traded my powdery cologne for a more sophisticated scent and figured out my tetracycline damaged teeth weren't going to get whiter until I had them capped.

Kept the Certs though. You really can't underestimate the power of fresh, minty breath.