Friday Shuffle - His Birthday, My Gift Edition

I love my husband more than I have ever loved anyone but there's one thing about him that I don't like - he's impossible to buy gifts for. He goes through clothes slowly so buying them for him as a gift is simply not needed. He doesn't wear watches or any other sort of jewelry. He doesn't carry a wallet. He's not into sweets or gourmet foods or wine. And he really, really, really doesn't need shoes. Sometimes he likes to have something for his computer - a game or some sort of accessory but even that is a rarity so it's generally not a gift giving choice when a gift giving occasion comes up.

Today is B's birthday and so what did I get him for his birthday? Nothing. I was going to get him one of those digital weather station things but at the last moment his mom said she had one that she's never opened and so he said "Oh I'll take it.". I did buy him flowers but that's it. He simply doesn't want anything right now so I'll just wait for the day when he does say he wants some sort of gadget or game and I'll run right out and get it for him.

But gifts were still received today - by me. I've been whining for ages for a new cell phone but like B needing shoes, I have very little need of a cell phone. I have one but I rarely use it - it's only used if I'm calling him to say I'm going to be late or he's calling me to say I need to come home right away. In other words I use it about four times a year. We'd look at cell phones but couldn't justify replacing the one I have for no other reason than it's nerdy looking. And then the cell phone gods smiled upon me and made my MIL's used-even-less-than-mine cell phone crapped out. Since they're both pre-paid cell phone accounts B and I decided to buy me a new cell phone, switch out the SIM cards and give my MIL my old cell.

The new one arrived today and I wish I were kidding when I say that I have done virtually nothing all day that hasn't revolved around me diddling with it. I can't help it though. It's so cute. It's piiiiiiink!!





Tell me that's not adorable! All it needs is some glitzy and oh-so-tacky cell phone jewelry and I'm all set!

So all day while the house phone has rung off the hook with birthday calls for B we've been messing with virtually ever feature of my new toy. And while it should be a day when B ooohs and aahhs over something for him, he's been over-the-moon happy that I'm so thrilled with the cell phone I've been wanting for so long. That's one of the reasons I adore my husband so much. He's at his happiest when he's done something sweet and thoughtful for me and seeing me enjoy it so much.

Happy birthday, my darling. Every time we celebrate the day you were born I know I'm the recipient of the best gift I could ever wish for - your steadfast, precious love.

Today's shuffle comes exclusively from my love song playlist. Grab someone you love, hold 'em close and slow dance while Bixente the iPod provides the mood music.

1. Longer - Dan Fogelberg
2. Kiss You All Over - Exile
3. Pressing Lips - Pursuit of Happiness
4. The Game Of Love - The Mindbenders
5. You'll Never Know - Rosemary Clooney
6. O What A Thrill - The Mavericks
7. The Air That I Breathe - The Hollies
8. Beautiful Dream - Adam Ant
9. Devoted To You - Everly Brothers
10. Crazy Love - Van Morrison

Have a love-filled weekend.

Friday Shuffle - Something Wicked This Way Comes Edition

B's cousin called us yesterday to wish him a happy birthday. We're close with B's cousin, who was born in Germany and who moved to Australia when he was about 10 or 12 years old, and we all call one another when our birthday's roll around. Cousin is going on a vacation with his family and will still be gone when it's B's birthday on May 9th so he wanted to call early to give his congratulations now.

Of course this caused B and I to look at one another with a bit of panic in our eyes. In Germany it's considered to be very bad luck to wish someone a happy birthday before their actual birthday rolls around. No early congratulations, no opening gifts or cards early, no parties before the actual day. Wishing someone an early happy birthday is courting disaster for that person - illness or accident or even death. You're just asking for the birthday boy or girl to have a misfortune occur before their birthday arrives.

Naturally this is all just rubbish. We're educated people. We're not prisoners of superstitions. We don't let old legends and customs micro-manage our lives and determine our futures. The future is determined by things we actually do now, not by the whims of fate. We will make our own luck! Our own futures! It us we who will determine whether our new life year will be one of happiness or one of disaster, not something as arbitrary as early birthday wishes!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run up to the market and buy some salt. We're very low on it and no good German household would ever be without salt. No salt in the house is a guaranteed way to lose all your money and to force you into a life of poverty.

Time to shuffle.

1. Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor) - Robert Palmer
2. Crazy Love - Van Morrison
3. Take A Bow - Madonna
4. Cliffs Of Dover - Eric Johnson
5. Love Of My Life - Queen
6. Zero - Smashing Pumpkins
7. Hell Raiser - Sweet
8. Devil's Dance Floor - Flogging Molly
9. Magical World - Blackmore's Night
10. D'Yer Maker - Led Zeppelin

Uh oh. The lone Madonna tune I have out of the thousands of songs in my iTunes and the one and only Madonna song I can even bear to listen to just shuffled up. Something is definitely up. I think we perhaps need to rethink this early-birthday-wishes-curse thing. And I need to not stand too close to my husband for the next three weeks.

My Favorite Birthday Gift

Tiffany's little boy, William, is, hands down, my favorite three year old boy. He's sweet and absolutely adorable and has a smile that could melt the iciest heart. I could absolutely eat him up, he's so precious.

And today I got a fabulous gift from him.

I love a gift that makes me laugh and makes me tear up all at the same time.

Fifty Minus Two

I have a good reason for getting drunk on a Wednesday if you're looking for one - it's B's birthday!



This birthday also commemorates the tenth anniversary of the first time I celebrated B's birthday with him and since it is I may as well tell you about that particular celebration and how I made a horse's ass of myself.

It was B's 38th birthday and I was visiting him in Germany for the first time. B's mom was throwing him a big party with lots of people invited to not only celebrate his birthday but to let people meet me for the first time. Boy oh boy, there's no way better to make you feel confident and at ease with the situation than being in an 82 square meter apartment with 25 other people and there's only one other person there who speaks English! And he doesn't even do that all that well!

Our old apartment had two adjoining sitting rooms so the party guests were spread between the two. I kept myself stuck next to B as much as possible except for when I'd have to go to the kitchen to get food for us. I was in fear that I'd do something idiotic and B wouldn't be there to explain anything to me.

The party had been in full swing for a few hours and I was practically dizzy from the noise and gibberish being spoken around me. B wasn't as good at quick translation as he is now and trying to keep up with even the most simple conversation was proving to be work. I spent most of my time smiling and nodding and throwing in the occasional "ja!". Jeez, I felt stupid and all I could think was that I must look like a dolt in front of B's friends. I wanted to be charming and bright and witty and there was no way I was going to pull that off when I only knew a handful of words in German.

Finally I had to excuse myself. The chatter was driving me mad and anyway I had to pee something fierce. I walked down the hall and found the main bathroom, the only one I'd used since my visit began, was occupied. So I ducked into the powder room. While the rest of the rooms in the apartment had solid sliding doors, the powder room had one of those flexible accordion type doors. I did the bathroom type stuff I'd gone there to do and when it was time to leave I found that I couldn't get the door open. I tugged on it; it wouldn't budge. I tugged harder to no avail. I hesitated tugging too hard because I didn't want to break the door. I wasn't all that sure that B's mom liked me all that much and until I did, I didn't want to be responsible for destroying her property.

Still I did a bit more tugging at the door with no results. I wondered if perhaps someone was in the hallway who'd be able to help me so I tried knocking on the door - which was nearly useless as knocking on it only made the door flap around as it was attached to the door frame only at the top - and saying "Hello? Hello? Help? Hello! Help!".

Evidently everyone was busy in the sitting rooms slowly getting bombed.

Minutes were passing - many minutes - and I was still stuck inside. I went to the bathroom window actually considering jumping out until I saw that I truly was too far up. I briefly considered asking a passerby for help but unless I could make him understand my plight by using the only German words I knew at that point - danke, bitte, Liebe, ich, ja, nein, klar, schön, Bier - I didn't think I'd get too far.

I tried the feeble and futile door knocking and pitiful cries for help and still got no response. By now over twenty minutes had passed and I thought surely someone would notice I was missing but logic told me that the only person who would really notice my absence was the one guy who couldn't get up to look for me.

Finally I figured that I either needed to make my escape or spend the rest of my vacation in Germany locked in the bathroom. Broken door be damned, I gave it a hearty yank, the door popped free from it's latch and I was free.

By this time I must have looked like a crazed escapee from a prison and in a way I was. My heart was pounding, I was scared, upset, thirsty and I felt like a sweaty mess. And I must have looked a fright because when I returned to the living room B looked at me and said "Honey, where have you been?! What's happened to you?"

And I just lost it. My nerves were like kindling wood and I simply snapped. I burst into tears and babbled the whole story to B who tried his best to understand rapid-fire English from a hysterical, crying woman.

Naturally the rest of the party guests were wondering what had me in such a state and after hiccuping the story to B a few more times so he could understand it all he relayed the events to them. And they burst out laughing.

I felt like a first class jackass. I wanted so much to impress B's friends and make them think he had a lovely girlfriend from America and all I'd succeeded in doing was looking like a doofus who couldn't figure out how a door opens.

Finally B's mom came to me and hugged me and told me through B that the door in question was forever getting stuck and the only way to get it open was to either yank the hell out of it, as I had done, or lift up on the handle as you pull the door back to release it from its catch. But that one hug saved me. If B's mom thought I wasn't an idiot then the rest wouldn't either. Or if they did they would keep it to themselves.

It's been ten years since that party and I still on occasion get razzed about being locked in the bathroom. Except now if they give me too much shit I can dish it right back to them.

Happy birthday, my darling. I hope your special day is filled with every wish you make coming true and I hope your new life year is filled with good health, good luck, joy, and lots of love. I'd tear down every door in the world just to get back to you. I love you without end.