Friday Shuffle - Interview Edition

Two weeks of your patience has paid off - I'm finished with the tales from my vacation and we can now get back to regular stuff. I can hear you cheering from here.

A few weeks ago Carol posted the answers to some interview questions posed to her and she offered to interview her own readers so I took her up on it. And she even ties in my vacation to it.

1. When you went home in October, what was something that happened that surprised you, that you never expected? What was something that you expected to happen that never did?

I hope I can explain this well. Even though I knew the Peach Pilgrimage was happening - I knew it was going to happen the moment I announced that I'd be coming home for a visit - it still surprised me. I think I have a hard time - too hard - believing that people would really want to go to all the effort it requires to make such an event happen. In some crazy, self-deprecating way I feel so unworthy to have friends do this for me - for no other reason than they want to visit with me and want me to have fun. I was so bowled over by A arranging the suite at the Peabody and her doing it just because she wanted me - for all of us - us to enjoy it. I scratch my head and wonder what I ever did in life that was so good that I was blessed with friends like these.

What I expected to happen that never did was me buying a pile of books and me going to the movies. I had the opportunity a couple times but either I got too busy or I chose to do something else like go see my mother. I can always have Amazon.com send me books - they can't send me my mother.

2. Name 5 things about B that constantly amaze you.

~ How incredibly well-adjusted he is. The bitterness one may expect in someone who has experienced the misfortune of having an accident that has left him paralyzed for life simply isn't present in him.

~ I'm amazed at how well he speaks English. He never went to school for it - he taught himself. He doesn't speak it perfectly - and I don't either - but he's very good and gets better all the time.

~ I'm amazed at how patient he is and how he can think about a problem until he finally comes up with a solution. Whether it's a challenge in a computer game or him having to fix a problem on his computer or him trying to figure out how he wants to invest some money or trying to find the perfect new television for us - he will think about, research, consider, compare and whatever else he has to do, no matter how long it takes, until he finds the right solution. I'm all "Does this work? Okay, yeah, that's good enough then." because I don't have that sort of patience.

~ I'm amazed at his sense of trust in me. He is absolutely vulnerable to me. If I wanted to I could harm him in so many ways and yet he never wavers in his trust. I think all close relationships carry a sense of vulnerability and those in the relationship must trust one another but B is even vulnerable to me in that he's got to trust that I will feed him or take care of any other physical need. Most relationships outside of a baby/parent relationship don't have that deep a vulnerability.

~ And I'm amazed at his depth of love for me. If I did something really good to deserve the wonderful friends I have then I must have done something extraordinarily good to have the love B has bestowed upon me.

3. What's your favorite German food? What American food (other than Sonic, ha ha!) do you miss?

Oh I love currywurst. And Thüringer bratwurst fresh off the grill. And schnitzel, especially with hollandaise or a broccoli cream sauce over it. And I swear, french fries in Germany are way, way, way better than what you find in America. European potatoes just have more flavor than those big ass Russet potatoes used in America.

There's a lot of American foods I miss but one that I have difficulty replacing in Germany is a nice, thick rare steak.

4. Can you name an experience in your past that had an immediate and significant impact on your character? Forming it, strengthening it, challenging it, etc.

My father's cerebral aneurysm. It left him in a vegetative state for nine months before he finally passed away. My mother refused to have him put in a nursing home and had him brought home from the hospital so she could, with the help of hospice, care for him herself. I saw what love can do when you're given challenge. I saw how love can make you do things that are difficult, painful, disgusting, horrific - things you never thought you could do or even tolerate being around. I saw how you can do what's important for someone you desperately love just because you have no other choice - it has to be done and you love that person so much. I think that experience directly prepared me to meet B and for me to take on the challenge of his care.

5. What's you favorite holiday? Why?

My darling, dear, dear friend, Susan, will immediately know the answer to this because she'd answer the same - it's Christmas! Susan is also one of the reasons I love it so much - she shares my enthusiasm for decorating for Christmas and when I lived in Virginia we'd spend the months before Christmas shopping at all sorts of places looking for unusual or one-of-a-kind decorations - tree decorations especially.

I love the preparations for and the traditions of Christmas. I love to see houses absolutely covered in Christmas kitsch. Know those houses they show on the TV news that are coated in flashing, gaudy lights and figures? I cheer them when I see them and yell "Yeah! More! More!". I love the Christmas market with its lights and music and sale stands and the yummy, trashy food they sell. I adore Christmas music - I play is constantly during the holiday season. I am crazy for Christmas movies and get disappointed if I don't see all my favorites.

And I love the quiet of the day itself. By the time Christmas day itself rolls around I'm done with the rush and flash and anticipation and am ready to reflect on the meaning of the day.

Okay - that's five asked and five answered. And now I wish to offer my interviewing services - leave me a comment if you'd like me to interview you for you to answer on your blog. Check back on the comments on this entry for your questions. You NaBloPoMo participants may especially be interested in an interview since that'll knock off one of your daily posts!

It's Friday. Time for a shuffle.

1. Girls In Their Summer Clothes - Bruce Springsteen.
2. All That Heaven Will Allow - The Mavericks (Written by Bruce Springsteen - I think Bixente the iPod has a crush.)
3. The Show Must Go On - Three Dog Night
4. Highroyds - Kaiser Chiefs
5. Himmelblau - Die Ärzte
6. Clean Town - Mando Diao
7. Laughing - The Guess Who
8. Black Night - Deep Purple
9. Tortured, Tangled Hearts - Dixie Chicks
10. The Fool On The Hill - Sergio Mendes & Brasil '66

Happy weekend, folks!

So Nice I Did it Twice

Okay, remember the whole blogging interview thing from last week? I interviewed Hilda who in turn interviewed Poppy (Are you reading their blogs? If not, why not?) and being as I'm a terrible smart aleck and am lacking in blogging inspiration this week I said "I wish someone would interview me again." - and so Poppy did. Danke, Poppy!

Round two:

1. You have a mere four hours in Memphis. How do you spend it?

First, your butt had better be there, Poppy and bring PKB and the Barefooted One as well. Four things are on the agenda:

a. We go to Corky's and indulge in Piggy Prozac.

b. We go find a yarn shop and bliss out in there for a while.

c. We go find an enormous display of lipstick and bliss out there for a while.

d. We'd go find some cream horns for PKB. 'Cause PKB loves cream horns.

Now I understand that this can be done in virtually any city, with the exceptions of going to Corky's, but if I were with y'all that's what I'd want to do. Pork barbecue, yarn, lipstick, cream horns, darling friends. Perfect four hours.

If I were alone for the four hours I'd probably go to the Pink Palace and groove in there. And make a quick dash into Corky's for a pulled pork sandwich.

2. How did Lottie the Sock Monkey come into your life?

I wrote a blog entry about it not very long after I got Lottie. Here's the part where I actually acquired Lottie:

When I was in the US last fall I decided that I must buy a sock monkey. I looked at a few places but didn't find one and my sister, who surprisingly didn't think I was completely bats for wanting a sock monkey, suggested we'd find one at the gift shop of a Cracker Barrel restaurant, the closest to my hometown being a good 45 minutes away in Tupelo. We made plans to drive down there for breakfast the following morning and snag one.

Evidently I was destined to go home with a sock monkey because there was one waiting for me - the last one in stock, as a matter of fact. Price was no object and by the time I was grazing on grits and buttermilk biscuits I had a sock monkey in a little brown sack at my side.

As I didn't want a nekkid sock monkey we set off to get some sock monkey sized clothes as Toys R Us. It was tough to find a dress for her that didn't have ducks or other babyish print on it but I did succeed in getting her a brown and red plaid dress. Sorta matches her skin and everything.

Note that I referred to her as...well...a her. I can't say that her gender just jumped out at me because let's be real. It's a sock monkey. It's whatever you want it to be. And mine got to be a girl because of one simple reason. It's easier to deal with a monkey tail in a dress than in a pair of teeny pants.

Now all she needed was a name. I liked Sophie but my sister insisted that my sock monkey would be a German sock monkey. Right. Sewed in Ohio and bought in Mississippi. I can see where the German part jumped out at her. Okay, so on to German names. I ran through my repetoir of German names until came across the name of B's great-grandmother, Charlotte. And thus she became Lottie.

Lottie has since then spent a summer with PKB, a visit where she was able to meet Poppy in person, and courtesty of PKB, Lottie now has a pair of teeny pants.

3. Favorite German food?

Currywurst. For the uninitiated, currywurst is a roasted bratwurst, usually, but not always, cut into slices (makes eating while standing at a currywurst stand easier) and doused with a ketchup based sauce seasoned with curry with more curry sprinkled on top. Often served with fries which are great when dipped in the sauce. Nutritionally it's a disaster but it's fabulously tasty.

I also like a good ol' roasted Thüringer Rostbratwurst. In my opinion the best bratwurst in Germany are the Thüringer style ones. Fabulous hot off the grill after they've been there roasting until they become a little blackened and the casing is all split and crispy. I eat mine with ketchup by my husband doesn't hold it against me.

4. Everyone always focuses on the negatives of physical disabilities. What are some of the good things that have come about because of your husband's limitations that might not have happened if he wasn't paralyzed?

Selfishly the best thing for me is that I can spend all day with him. I think it also gave him the opportunity to learn about computers back when personal computers were a new thing - had he stayed uninjured then perhaps he wouldn't have had the time to learn what has been able to learn over the years. I think it's given us both more patience and a great appreciation of the little things that can make you very content.

I just asked B the same question and he answered "I met you.". All together now: Awwwwwwww!!

5. You have an unlimited yarn budget. What's the first thing you buy?

Oooo. Wouldn't that be a dream come true? I know that I'd head right on over to Posh Yarn and get some of that incredibly decadent hand-dyed cashmere sock weight yarn. I don't know if I could bear the thought of my feet being in cashmere socks or the feeling of knitting 100% cashmere, but I'd love to try.

Is there anyone that I didn't interview the first time around who'd like to be interviewed this time? Speak up and I'll do it!

Here's the interview guidelines: Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” I will respond by asking you five questions in the comments here on this post so check back here. I get to pick the questions. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

The Interview

Sheila offered and I took her up on it. She offered to ask me five questions and I'd answer them here for y'all to see. Her boyfriend is also a quadriplegic so it stands to reason that some of the questions pertain to that topic.

Read and learn, folks. There may be a pop quiz later.

1. How would your life be different if B would of never of been injured? (How was B injured, anyhow?)

Wow. I reckon everything would be different, wouldn't it? I met him many years after his accident (while he was in the army he fell into a swimming pool in one meter of water and landed on his head) so it's possible that I never would have met him had he been healthy (he and I refer to his non-spinal cord injury status as him being "healthy" although technically he's not unhealthy but instead has a permanent injury...it's just easier though to say "healthy"). However if all were the same except for him not being a quadriplegic I imagine we'd have kids, travel more, maybe even live in America. I think the closeness of our relationship would be the same but a spinal cord injury is so invasive in the life of the quadriplegic and those around him that I would say that virtually everything would be different.

2. If money weren't an issue, would you ever consider moving B, your mother-in-law and yourself back to the states? Along the same lines, if you all did move back to the states, where would you choose to live?

How much are we talking about when we're saying that money isn't an issue? Enough to pay for the sort of health insurance we require? That's the main reason we live in Germany. There is no way we could ever move to the US because there is no insurance company that would accept B. It's the reason why I most likely will always live in Germany - I have reliable health insurance here that I won't lose. I would have nothing in the way of health insurance if I moved back to the States.

However if we did move back to the US for whatever reason, I'm sure we'd live near my family in Mississippi. I like having family around.

3. Who taught you how to knit? How long ago? Have you ever wished you had learned a different hobby even though you enjoy knitting?

My mother first taught me how to knit and purl when I was around 10 years old. Just knit and purl. Couldn't cast on, couldn't bind off, couldn't make anything and stopped knitting completely until about 2 1/2 years ago when I bought a copy of Stitch 'n Bitch, bought some needles and some cheap yarn and taught myself the rest with the aid of the book. Knitting is certainly more fun when you can actually produce something.

I have learned other crafts - needlepoint, counted cross stitch, crewel - but I didn't take to them like I have knitting. It suits my need to be able to do it spur-of-the-moment because I never know when B will need to interrupt me and I like being able to make something other than wall hangings and pillow covers.

4. What is the one thing as a child / teenager you said you'd never do / say when you got older? Have you done / said it and thought, "Hm, I said I'd never do that."

When I was young I thought I'd never marry a man who wasn't a Southerner and I wouldn't live outside of the South. I wouldn't even date non-Southerners. The first time around I married a guy born in Mississippi and raised in Florida and Texas. Obviously him being Southern didn't help. Now, of course, I met and married not only a non-Southerner but a non-American and I certainly don't live in the South. I don't even live in southern Germany.

5. What is the one thing about B's injury that you knew about, but didn't truly understand until you had to deal with it in person?

I guess the thing I had explained to me but didn't really get until I had to help with it was the bathroom thing. I don't discuss this much at all because I don't like to compromise B's dignity but I wasn't sure how it would work until I saw in person how it would work. It doesn't involve diapers and it doesn't involve him ever spontaneously losing control of his bodily functions and that's all I'm really comfortable with saying about it except to add that it doesn't freak me out at all.

And Sheila has asked me a bonus question.

I was curious about how you go about getting B into his chair. I use a Hoyer lift for Tom, and it works wondrously well. (I can lift him by myself, with no Hoyer, if I absolutely have to, but prefer someone else with more confidence to do it.) Our Hoyer was provided for us through insurance. Along the same lines, is there an elevator in your building? How do you get B outside?

B is a tall man (or do you say "long" in you're unable to stand?) - he's 6'4". He's got these wildly long legs and it means that he doesn't fit in a lot of standard wheelchairs - they're simply too short for him. Here's his wheelchair:



We used to have a Hoyer lift but it was more trouble than it was worth. First, B didn't like the feeling of being suspended in the lift - it freaked him out too much to have it swinging while getting him into position to lower him into the chair or into the bed. Second, it barely fit between the bed and his wheelchair and we struggled to get things into position. We finally gave up using it at all and after a few years when I accidentally stubbed my toe on it for the zillionth time we called the insurance company to tell them to take it away.

When we want to get B outside I have to rely on help. B's a foot taller than me and I simply cannot lift him high enough on my own to get him out of bed and over the arm and controls of his wheelchair. My MIL and I can lift him - I get him under his arms and she gets him under his knees and we pick him up and pull him over. We, however, try to get help from others. If it's a nice day and we want to go out we call friends who can come over and help me pick him up and get him in the chair. Some of the taller, stronger guys can pick him up on their own. If anyone helps me get B in his wheelchair, their drinks are on me for the day!

Sometimes there's no one available to help me get him out of bed and into his chair. Those are the days when we just stay indoors and appreciate having a nice home.

We do have an elevator in our building. Although our apartment isn't made specifically for a handicapped person we can still live in this building because the doorways are wide enough and B can get in and out of the elevator. My MIL's apartment also has an elevator but you have to take a half flight of stairs either up or down to reach the elevator so B's unable to go to her apartment.

Now it's your turn to play if you wish:

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” I will respond by asking you five questions in the comments here on this post so check back here. I get to pick the questions. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.