Dixie Peach: Admiring mommies

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Admiring mommies

I read this over on Jen's blog and it made me think of something people often say to me. I have all sort of folks say "How do you do it? How do you take care of a quadriplegic by yourself? Isn't it awfully hard? Doesn't it just wear you out?" and I have to admit that it isn't easy. It's physically demanding, it keeps me somewhat isolated, I don't get sick days and time to myself away from home is rare and limited.

But when I think of what moms do, most of the time I think I have it easy. Sure, moms lift 40 pound kids all day long and I lift a 150 pound man but c'mon! I'm not lifting him when he's in the midst of pitching a fit or as he's kicking me or is slippery wet. Yes, I have to feed him but he doesn't spit food back at me and doesn't adore one food one day and detest it the next and neglects to inform me of the change. Yes, I have to assist with bathroom needs but I get fair warning. I won't be in the middle of something and have it just surprise me. Sure, I have to shave him but I don't have to do things like cut chewing gum out of his hair. I have to brush his teeth but he willingly opens his mouth for me and doesn't attempt to bite or refuse to have them brushed at all. Dressing is easy as we both tend to agree with what he'll wear and there are no battles over whether he can wear red rubber boots or a Batman costume when we go outside. My husband requires me to bathe him but there are no fights over bathtime and he doesn't squirm when I wash his ears. My husband doesn't need naps and if I want to take one I don't need to make sure he's asleep first. There is no guessing as to what he wants and even if he doesn't speak with an accent, I don't have to rely on my ability to decipher crying to determine what he needs. Moms with a baby or toddler are often sleep deprived. I'm only sleep deprived if I sit up too late watching movies.

It would be easy to appear as though I'm a martyr or a superhero but it would be false. While I'm very busy, moms are busier. They have to be. I simply can't be busier than a mom with a little one who needs help with so much and who needs to be kept safe and entertained and loved. Add to that multiple kids and you'll see why I think motherhood is the hardest thing in the world to do.

I'll gladly keep my tough job. I've got the routine down pat and no one draws on the walls.


Blogger GoodSheila said...


3:47 AM  
Blogger still life said...

It's true, I read the craziest posts over there, those mommies have it rough.

WHAT...B doesn't wear a Batman costume?!

4:15 AM  
Anonymous Belinda said...

ohhh dixie don't be like that! let him wear that batman's almost Karnival after all! lol

12:01 PM  
Blogger BarefootCajun said...

Ok, am I the only one who would pay good money to see B go out in red rubber boots and a Batman costume???

9:46 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You're right. You've got it way too easy. B, if you can read this, I suggest you draw on the walls immediately and give this woman some challenges.

As for the other stuff you do with/for him, he doesn't kick, spit, finicky around with his food, stick gum in his hair, bite you, debate clothing, squirm, or deprive you of sleep? Not at all? Never? MAN, you got it all. I suggest you keep him. G does all that to me and more.

The worst thing he does is collect and stack. This man can stack against gravity, useless crap he's collected since 1968. He has in his closet right this minute a red plaid flannel shirt he wore to Karneval when he was eight years old. Do not ask me what for. I hope like all get out he's not deluding himself into thinking he'll wear that again one of these days, but who knows what goes through the mind of a man. Or more specifically, a G.

10:14 PM  
Blogger GoodSheila said...

Thanks for your comment!

Tom's nurse suggested a similar heel device today, and is going to see about getting them for him.

Until then, we'll be creative and make something.

Its nice to see someone in a similar situation and see how they do things.

10:22 PM  
Blogger christina said...

Aww, this is such a sweet post. I think all of us can give the "other side" credit for doing our very best for the ones we love.

10:47 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Sheila - if you ever need advice or ideas, you know where to find me. Caretakers are other caretakers best resources.

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Dixie, my dear,

We BOTH totally rock! Love to you.

9:32 AM  
Blogger marshamlow said...

Dearest Dixie, As I read this post and others the word that comes into my mind is grace. You are full of it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to give us a peak inside of your world. From one caretaker to another I see how much we have in common. How the same ideas motivate our choices and the same struggles frustrate us. The world is indeed small.

11:58 PM  

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