http://www.one.org Dixie Peach: Lagging Behind

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Lagging Behind

This is post number 700. Let's get a little woohooo! over that, shall we?

Now I love the Christmas season - all that preparation and anticipation and excitement. I love it so much that by the time the actual day rolls around I've pretty well had my fill of it and I can then concentrate more on the spiritual aspect of the day. That being said, I'm having a hard time getting revved up to the level I should normally be at this far into the season. I'm not feeling all Scroogy or something - I'm still enjoying it - but I'm not whipped into quite the froth I should be.

Example: I broke the lighted picture thingies I have for my balcony windows - one was in the shape of a star and the other in the shape of a Christmas tree. Normally that would have sent me out at dawn the next day to replace them but I haven't made a move beyond throwing the old ones away and probably won't either. And I just don't really care.

Some of this is stemming from the fact that my sister is having to move my mother from her seniors apartment to an assisted care facility and it's going to be pricey and us four kids will need to chip in extra to make it work. When you read "us four kids", that actually means "just my sister and I because we can't count on our two brothers being terribly reliable". Coming up with what my mom needs without putting my own finances in jeopardy concerns me some but I have had a piss poor relationship with money in the past so it brings up bad memories. Luckily I am married to someone who is very good with money and who keeps me from going off the deep end. Anyway, there's the money thing but moving my mom to assisted care is concrete evidence that she's getting worse. You know things are only going to get worse when you're talking about Alzheimer's disease but getting the cold, hard proof is still sobering. Still and all it's also a relief since my mother isn't eating properly and isn't administering her medications correctly. She gave herself so much insulin on Saturday night that she went into insulin shock. I was always worrying about her falling or burning down her kitchen or anything else that a frail, diabetic woman with Alzheimer's can get into. Now she'll be where someone is checking on her throughout the day and taking care of all her meals and making sure she has the proper medications at the proper times. I think I really just need to get used to the idea of it all, have some faith that it'll work out and just watch my spending so I have more to contribute to my mom's care.

It's the change that's doing it to me. I'm not big on change - aside from moving to foreign countries - so when I'm hit with a big one it takes me a while to get it all down and in the meantime I'm just not as jazzed about other stuff. It'll pass though. It always does.

Betcha making some sugar cookies shaped like stars and Santas and angels would perk me up. Watching White Christmas while decorating them would get me into full tilt Christmas frenzy.

7Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sending lots of love, hugs and Christmas cheer. I hope this new living situation will be comfortable for your mom.

1:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dixie,

As you know I went through that with my mom a couple of years ago and it is not easy. The logistics added to the guilt nearly did me in as my husband and friends will attest. However in the long run it will be such a relief to know she is being taken care of in a reliable, professional environment that it will help make the idea that your mom who took care of you can no longer care for herself.

My prayers are with you and your family...it gets better, I promise.

5:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First (as you said) a big WHOOOO HOOOOO for 700 posts- that's really amazing. Imagine it as a book- it would be huge!

Sorry about your Mom and her situation :( My Mother-in-Law passed away this past summer after more than 15 years of suffering with the same disease. It's truly a tragic way to spend the sunset years when they should be full of joy and good memories. Keep her comfortable and try to be patient through all the painful days. I wish you peace and joy this Christmas. Kim

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Sam said...

So sorry about your Mom chere *hugs*
Congrats on the 700 posts - think it will take me years to get there :)
The closer it gets the larger your chrismas spirit will be too.

12:42 PM  
Blogger sari said...

I'm sending good thoughts, big hugs and a "I'm glad!" that you're still Counting Your Blessings.

Congratulations on 700! You were my first blogging friend, I didn't know anyone with a blog before you. :-)

8:59 PM  
Blogger Miz said...

WooHoo...here come 1000!

Good luck with your Mom. It is hard, more so that you're so far away. {{HUGS}}

8:24 AM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

We've talked about this in person, Dixie, so you know I am very relieved to hear your mom is gonna be cared for by those who can watch her 24/7. The shock of it for you will wear off after awhile. I am confident you'll manage on the financial end and will find a huge burden falling off your shoulders.

My heart is with you through this change. Rest in peace, dear friend.

5:10 PM  

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