Love in an Envelope

I love mail. Not so much email though. Well, I do like email but I'm really bad at answering email in a timely manner. Still at the risk of never getting email ever again ("I'll fix her! Last time I write that wench an email if she can't appreciate it!") I have to say that for all it's convenience and immediacy, it still doesn't give the same charge one gets when one opens their mailbox and finds mail in there that's not a bill, advertisement or credit card offer. My mailbox has been a bit barren lately - in the past ten days the only thing I've gotten was my debit card statement, a catalog and an offer for a loan - but today made up for that.

First was a postcard from our family doctor. She was in the US for fifteen days - skiing in Utah and touring around Las Vegas and San Francisco and she sent us a postcard from Las Vegas. She always sends us postcards. Thailand, China, Iceland, South Africa, USA - if she goes there, she sends a card. Now how many of you can say your doctor sends you a postcard when he/she's on vacation?

Then there was a small package from my dear friend, pkb. I've been expecting this package for months now. She originally send it to me last October but she made an error in my address and it was sent back to her. Caused quite a panic between us when the package was missing for weeks on end because what was in it can't easily be replaced. She had gone to see Mitch Albom last fall at a book signing for his book, For One More Day, and pkb had him sign a copy for me and sent it to me. You can perhaps see why having such a thing missing would upset us both. Originally it was to be a big surprise for me but pkb is a lot like me in that when we find something really wonderful and perfect for someone and we get it for them as a gift it's nearly impossible to keep it a secret or not give it to them immediately. I was very excited to get this book because the topics of Mitch Albom's books are things that are very meaningful for both pkb and me. It's one of the bonds pkb and I share.

pkb had told me that when she resent the book that she simply shoved the original envelope into a larger envelope because something very special was on the original envelope - a surprise for B. I knew what it was and I couldn't wait for him to see it. I tore open the outer envelope at the tear strip and carefully removed the inner one and showed B his surprise - a smooch for him from pkb. A great big lipstick print right on the back on the envelope - and in a gorgeous shade of lipstick, may I add. Next to it she'd drawn a heart and wrote "For B". He was over the moon. I can't even describe what a big smile he had on his face when he saw it.

I should pause to explain that all of my friends adore B. Well, honestly I don't know anyone who has met B and doesn't adore him. As my sister once said "He is the most delightful person I've ever met.". It's only natural that pkb would send him a lipstick smooch.

I was eager to get the second envelope open so I could see the book and see how it was autographed to me. I know that signed books aren't exactly uncommon and I have a couple other books autographed by their authors but I get such a charge out of seeing my name and the author's signature.

"Rats. The tear strip on this envelope goes right through the lip print."

"Don't tear that smooch! That smooch is mine!"

"I know but the tear strip goes right through it. It's going to tear it in half when I open the envelope."

"Then leave it closed."

"Get out of here! My book is in there! Do you know what pkb had to do to get that book autographed and sent to me?"

"The smooch is more important. Do not ruin it. It's mine."

"Oh for Pete's sake. Well I can't tear the end, it's all taped shut."

"Do not tear that smooch."

"Alright. Here's the scissors. I'll just dig it in here by the tape and snip through the end and open it that way. Dang. These little scissors I use for my knitting don't have very long blades and it's hard to work in here. Okay. Here we go. Look, I'm cutting it open and saving your precious smooch. Look at you getting all worked up over a lip print! You are so silly! It's just a... Ow! Owwwww!! Mother scratcher, that hurts! I just cut between my fingers with the scissors! Oh you Martha Focker! That fucking huuuurrrts!!!".

"Watch the smooch! Don't bleed on it!"

"It's not bleeding that much! It just hurts! Damn, that hurts like a bitch on fire!"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's hardly bleeding but I cut right into that soft space between my fingers and it hurts like holy hell!"

"I'm sorry sweetie."

"It's okay. The pain's fading now."

"Better wash it though. And when you get done, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What?"

"Cut my smooch out? I want to save it."

Who can say no to someone so charming and delightful?

Thank you, pkb. You made us both very happy. We love you.