Brother and Sisters

I'd like to express my gratitude to all of you for your kind good wishes and prayers for my brother. I called my mother yesterday evening to see if she'd received any word from him but at that time she'd not heard from him. My sister happened to be there with my mom and when I spoke with her she said she'd left voice mail at his home and on his cell phone and on my oldest nephew's cell but as of then hadn't heard back from them.

I took it that no news was good news. At least he'd made it through surgery safely.

Today I received email from my sister say that she'd spoke with our brother. He was back home and one of his buddies was with him. My brother is divorced and three of his kids live in Ohio and the other, my oldest nephew, is in the Navy and is currently stationed in Twentynine Palms, CA getting ready to ship off to Iraq in a few weeks. We were hoping he could get a few days away to go back up to Los Angeles and spend some time with his dad. Sister didn't tell me if that request had been granted.

Anyway, the surgery was successful but unfortunately it was more than had been initially expected. The tumor was in the left testicle and that was removed but the ultrasound showed some areas of concern in the right. It turns out it was cancer as well so unfortunately both testicles had to be removed. Any further treatment hasn't yet been determined until they do the histology. And now is when I'm beginning to get scared. I worry that the cancer was in both testicles and it means that it has spread to the lymph nodes.

But whatever it is already is so worrying is pointless. Instead of wishing that it's not what it already may be I need to focus on being supportive of my brother and praying that any further treatment he may need be successful. I want him to defeat cancer.

I suppose it's a sign that I've been in Germany a long time but I was absolutely shocked to hear that my brother was back home the day after surgery to remove both of his testicles due to cancer. I had my ovaries removed four years ago due to large benign tumors and I was hospitalized for two weeks. I understand removing my ovaries was a lot more invasive than the sort of surgery my brother had but damn! As he rolled through did they ask him if he wanted fries with that?

My sister said that Brother felt okay but was tired and was sleeping a lot. And he sounded good too so that was nice to hear. She offered to come out to Los Angeles to be with him but he declined and said everything was under control but I imagine if he needs her he'll ask for her.

I hate being so far away and feeling helpless. I hate that there are still so many unknowns in the situation and that unwanted answers can be very dire indeed. But it costs just as much to be positive as to be negative so I'm putting on a brave face and I'm spending my time educating myself to the possibilities and what courses of action are offered. If there's anything worse than being worried it's being ignorant and worried.

Again, thank you for your kind words and support. They're very helpful at a time like this. Knowing that I'm not alone as this situation unfolds means a lot.

And Mr. Gallbladder Attack seems to have hit the road for a while. If he can just leave me be until I can get back from my trip I'll see about having my gallbladder removed. And I guarantee you I'll spend more time in the hospital having a simple gallbladder removal than my brother did to have his jewels snatched.

It just doesn't seem right.