Dixie Peach: Sparks

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Today while in line at the grocery store I picked up a roll of Wint-O-Green LifeSavers and I remembered a story my friend Frank told me.

Back when Frank was in college he worked part time for the campus police. Their office was in a trailer and one afternoon while chatting with the police officers the conversation somehow turned to Frank mentioning that Wint-O-Green LifeSavers spark when you crunch them in the dark. None of the others had heard of this and in fact claimed that Frank was completely full of shit so Frank produced a roll, lead the others back into a darker room, closed the blinds and began crunching the LifeSavers. No one saw a thing. He tried again. Nothing was seen. Frank attempted to close the blinds tighter claiming there was too much light and crunched more. Nothing. The police officers claimed they weren't being fooled a bit by Frank and proclaimed his experiment a bunch of hooey.

Frank, on the other hand, was certain that he was right about the sparks and he was just as certain that the extra light bleeding through the blinds was the reason his test didn't work. He was determined to prove to himself that sparks were indeed visible when crunching Wint-O-Green LifeSavers in the dark.

Frank left the campus police trailer and walked to the nearby science building. He went down into the basement, banged open the men's room door, flipped off the light and made his way to the mirror. He popped a LifeSaver into his mouth and began crunching furiously, certain sparks would be visible any moment. No sparks.

"Shit!", Frank exclaimed!

He put another mint into his mouth and crunched again. Again there were no sparks.

"Goddammit! What's wrong here?!"

Frank tried again. Again he saw nothing.

"Shit! Shit! Why in the fuck isn't this working!"

One last time Frank tried to see the sparks. One last time he saw nothing.

"FUUUCK! Goddammit to holy hell!"

And just then Frank realized that he wasn't crunching Wint-O-Green LifeSavers at all but instead was trying to make sparks with sugar-free wintergreen flavored Breath Savers, which don't make sparks.

"Oh Jesus!", he muttered angrily and he stomped to the men's room door and flung it open.

And just as he was about to leave he heard a timid voice from one of the stalls asking "Uhhh, could you please turn the light on again?".


Blogger Katya said...

That's funny. :) I've also heard that story about Wint-O-Green Lifesavers but never tried i. I also heard others wouldn't work -- only the Lifesavers. Did he go back and try it with Lifesavers?

12:33 AM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Oh he already knew it would work with the LifeSavers - he thought that he had actual LifeSavers but then remembered too late they were really Breath Savers and it won't work with sugar-free mints.

1:29 AM  
Blogger Miz said...

Lol, thats a good one. Wonder what the other guy thought was going on?

4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I think I like ol' Frank. He's a funny guy... first he gets you to snap yourself in the head with a plastic hangar, next thing you know he's selling urban myths to the police and flipping the lights out on poor, defenseless poopers!

BTW, I've heard that wintergreen life savers spark when you bite them, too... I just never cared enough to find out for sure if that was true. Hee hee hee. I'll just go ahead and believe Frank, though, because well... I think maybe Frank is THE MAN!

5:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, btw, I'm TitanKT... not "anonymous." I don't know why it won't let me put in my name all of a sudden... must be something Frank did.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Candy said...

Bwahahahahahahaha! That Frank's a card! I was also wondering what the poor guy in the stall must've been thinking.

8:03 AM  
Blogger BarefootCajun said...

LMAO! Poor Frank.

The Wint-O-Green Life Savers do spark as I have tried the experiment myownself. I just didn't know exactly why. Thanks for the link to How Stuff Works. :-)

6:44 PM  

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