Dixie Peach: When Eggs, Lemons and Butter Break Bad

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

When Eggs, Lemons and Butter Break Bad

I have a rather annoying habit in the kitchen. Doesn't annoy me but it irks the daylights out of others. I have the habit of leaving cabinets and drawers open while I'm cooking. Most of the time it's not a problem since I'm the only one who would ever just stroll into the kitchen but when I have people here - my sister, for example - I'm forever being told to shut the doors and drawers.

I don't know why I do this. I've done it for years and I believe I got into the habit when I had large kitchens and would have to flit to and fro while cooking. Leaving the cabinets and drawers open just made things a little more efficient, at least in my eyes. And with the exception of once nearly gashing my scalp open on the corner of a cabinet door it's presented me no problems.

Until tonight.

The menu for tonight's supper was classic. Schnitzel, boiled potatoes, steamed green beans and hollandaise sauce for the schnitzel and potatoes. I was juggling everything like a champ and everything was finished at the same time. True to form, cabinet doors were open and the silverware drawer was wide open.

While everything else was self-made the hollandaise sauce wasn't because as long as Mr. Thomy is happy to make it for me I'll let him. I was in the process of getting everything served on our plates while the hollandaise heated and as the microwave dinged to tell it was done, I reached into the silverware drawer to get a ladle.

I don't know what happened after that. No, that's not right - I do know what happened. It was an unfortunate chain of events. One moment things were fine, the next moment I was unable to stop the tragic event to follow. The microwave dinged, I reached to open its door and at the same time swung my head around one open cabinet door as I held the ladle with my other hand. I swung my head back and used my elbow - the one attached to the arm that holds the hand that was holding the bowl of hollandaise - to nudge the cabinet door closed and I found myself unable to stop what came next.

Somehow I bobbled the microwave bowl of hollandaise sauce and upended it into the open drawer. The entire contents of my silverware drawer was coated in 250 milliliters of hollandaise sauce.

Until that moment I had no idea how fast I could say the word "shit" in sixty seconds. I even amazed myself.



Blogger Miz said...

Hee Hee. I leave cupboard and drawers open too. I tipped spaghetti and it's water into my foil and plastic bag drawer one night. I said more bad word thn shit...I scared the cats!

8:32 AM  
Blogger christina said...

LOL. I'm going to have to read that another ten times and then draw a diagram to get the full effect, but I HEAR YOU! I've done exactly that type of thing more times than I care to remember.

Hope you had another package of Hollodaise sauce handy. That stuff is great, just not in your silverware drawer. Ugh.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Molly said...

That's the very moment that I beg the goddess for a "do over."

3:37 PM  
Blogger sari said...

Those last two sentences had me rolling!!

I'm a cabinet slammer, I can't help it. I don't even really know I'm doing it. My dad says he always knows when I'm visiting because he can hear me on the other side of the house.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Marsha said...

I am laughing so hard. I leave all the cabinets open while cooking too! It drives my 6" husband and 5"9' daughter crazy. The door to my cabinets are above the top of my head, but not theirs. Everyday my husband comes home from work, before he takes off his coat or shoes, he comes in the kitchen where I am busy making his dinner and he gently closes all the cabinets while telling me about his day. Now he has Mandy doing it too. I am glad to know I am not the only one with this habit.

11:56 PM  
Blogger Jemima said...

Maybe a gremlin knocked your hand?

I have a rather tender spot on my cranium at the moment and have had no sympathy at all, because I've been told to shut the cupboard doors thousands of times. Drawers though, no, I always close my drawers.

Good reason for me to continue avoiding hollandaise, I think. Must be evil, or something.

8:16 AM  

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