Dixie Peach: Friday Shuffle - Be Careful What You Wish For Edition

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Friday Shuffle - Be Careful What You Wish For Edition

I often lament that I need something to shake me out of my routine. I complain that I get into a rut. So what did fate deliver for me this week? My brother's cancer surgery and my gallbladder making an ass of itself.

I need to start getting a little more specific with my wishes.

Other bits:
  • A couple days ago Poppy made a blog entry discussing an article she found on And while the theme of the article is stupid, the word itself that it discusses - frenemy - makes me want to claw out my eyes. In fact I'm simply up to my ass in pop culture speak. There's slang and then there's the emergence of faux words and phrases that seem to be there solely for the purpose of integrating themselves into pop culture. To make the speaker seem hip and cool but in essence don't do more than make the speaker look like a sheep following what seems to be the trend of the day.

    I don't think I'm going to be able to keep my sanity if I read one more blog where someone tells us that they "heart" something. Let me see if I have this right. Twenty, twenty-five years ago we started to use a symbol to replace a word - in a publicity campaign no less - and now we're using a word to replace the symbol that we used to replace a word. Convolution, anyone? Then we have the word "chillax". We began to use the word "chill" as slang for "relax" but now we've had to tack on the ending of "relax" because it seems that a whole generation of people saying "chill" just wasn't enough to get across the idea of relaxation.

    I could perhaps give someone a pass on this if that person were fourteen years old. However if you're old enough to have ever parented a fourteen year old I have to advise that one day you'll look back on your days of hearting something and chillaxing with the same chagrin as you have now when you remember the days you proclaimed something to be "far out" and called someone a "jive turkey". Dyn-O-Mite!

  • I'd been chatting with Darling Mollie online last night and the subject turned to Senator Larry Craig of Idaho and the the troubles he's in for allegedly trolling for love in a public restroom. We'd both listened to the audio of the police officer questioning Senator Craig and speculated that this guy simply isn't a very good liar and that him being a "fairly wide guy" wasn't going to explain why his foot was outside of the perimeters of the bathroom stall and just who picks up toilet paper from a public restroom floor anyway?

    About twenty minutes passed after Darling Mollie said goodbye to me so she could leave work and my phone rang. "I just wanted you to know that I went to the restroom and tested Larry Craig's explanation and it doesn't wash. The man would have to be a freakin' acrobat to sit with his "wide stance" and reach behind him to pick up a piece of toilet paper. I even put toilet paper on the ground to see if I could pick it up and it's nearly impossible to reach back in the manner he said he was reaching - and I'm still young and in good shape! I'm not buying his story. He's trying to sell us a shit milkshake and I'm not buying it!"

    That's how you know your friends love you. When they know you don't have frequent need of being in a public restroom in which you can test out theories and voluntarily do it for you and then on top of that make a trans-Atlantic call to you to report the findings.

  • I've simply got to find a way to turn off my voice mailbox. I seldom have a need for it and the times when its inconvenience often outweighs the times it makes life easier. Example: Last night while talking with Darling Mollie on the phone the call got cut off. I was blathering on about something when the call cut out so I didn't realize at first what had happened. In the meantime Darling Mollie had called back and the call went straight to voice mail which sort of freaked her out since the message is in German only and Mollie knows just enough German to stand on the Ku'damm in Berlin and ask where the Chanel store is. She called back once again, our conversation was completed and that was that. Until this morning.

    As soon as 8:00am rolled around the voice mailbox called to inform me that I had a message. Let me just say that I recognize 8:00am for three reasons only - to get to a medical appointment, to catch a plane and to attend church. If it's for something else, leave me the hell alone. I was as pissed as when someone unexpectedly rings my doorbell and they're not holding a box from in their hands.

  • Even after being rudely awakened by my nagging voice mailbox my day has still been wonderful. I had to go to the American foods section of the grocery store that's in the basement of Karstadt and what was there? Hellmann's mayonnaise. Tiny, overpriced squeeze bottles of yummy mayonnaise love. They haven't had Hellmann's there in years. Thank you, Karstadt for taking pity on a Hellmann's freak.

Bixente the iPod, a pop icon himself, may be occasionally carried by the whims of popular culture but there's nary a whiff of scandal around him. And he's as well loved as Hellmann's. Time to shuffle.
  1. Shades of Blue - Karl Shuman Band
  2. Sea Of No Cares - Great Big Sea
  3. Call It Love - Poco
  4. Paradise - Meat Puppets
  5. I've Been To Memphis - Lyle Lovett
  6. Radio Free Europe - REM
  7. Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
  8. Love On A Farmboy's Wages - XTC
  9. You Belong To Me - Dean Martin
  10. Los Rancheros - Adam Ant
Have a good weekend. And keep your wide stance out of trouble.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd like to also add that when I reached my foot over to the other stall it was very inconvenient and uncomfortable. It wasn't so easy to move my foot over to an area where another person's foot could be placed. To scoot your foot over from normal foot placement to even an inch into the next stall is quite the hip rotator move.

Note: No one else was in the bathroom when I conducted my experiments.

Yes, I like the show Mythbusters!

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops- I did not sign my post!

D Mollie

6:14 PM  
Blogger Hilda said...

So Dixie, will you be upset if I tell you that I think you're *da' bomb diggity*?

Don't you love when middle-aged white women like me try and speak "Gangsta"? It makes me laugh and I will occasionally do it just to crack my very ownself up!

As for Bixente today - all I can say is thank the music gods for Dean Martin - because that's the only song I know!

By the way - do you and B. observe Labor day in sonme way? I don't know maybe BBQ some bratwurst or something?

7:47 PM  
Blogger Mahala said...

I hope you stocked up on the mayo!

7:55 PM  
Blogger Marsha said...

I have been avoiding the TV since I spent all day Wednesday crying to all the Katrina coverage, I am going to have to go and find out wtf is going on it sounds quite juicy. The only one of your slangs I had ever even heard was the I "heart" Dixie. Ha, sorry I couldn't help myself. I need to get out more and learn me some slang. My daughter becomes quite mortified whenever I try to use any slang. Poor dear.

What happens to your time table when you travel? Do you stay on Germany time and get up early Mississippi time or do you convert to Mississippi time and sleep late here?

8:46 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Hilda, I'm going to expand your musical circle if it kills me! And no, we don't do anything for Labor Day. I end up forgetting that holiday weekend is creeping up there in the US.

Marsha, since I'm the sort that stays up very late and gets up fairly late I don't have to adjust too much when I'm in Mississippi. It's like I live on US central time no matter where I am.

10:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For a copy of the Karl Shuman CD- email me through Kim! It really is great! I have permission from him to copy and distribute!

Darling Mollie

10:46 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Karl Shuman really is very good. I will vouch for his grooviness.

11:07 PM  
Blogger sari said...

Mollie makes me laugh, laugh, laugh. I love the experiment.

And Radio Free Europe, that song would cheer up my worst day.

Have a great weekend.

1:30 AM  
Blogger floridagirl said...

I work with a lady who announces on a daily basis that she is going to "re-up" her coffee. I know she thinks it sounds cool but I'd love to slug her--what exactly does that mean?? Refill and warm-up??? Just say it properly, just one morning, I BEG of her!

2:43 AM  
Blogger J said...

One of the first things I did when I got my mobile was to have them kill the voice mail. Either my phone is on or it's off (mostly off). Period. If I remember correctly, I would have had to pay to get my messages.

8:57 AM  
Blogger cncz said...

In switzerland you have to set up your voice mail for it to be on.
My husband's french cell phone (the cool thing is that living across the lake from France we pick up French towers, so he got a french phone to call his family but whatevs) has voice mail that CALLS RANDOMLY UNTIL YOU CHECK IT. Oh God how I hate it. So if someone calls at night you have to pick up, or pick up the voice mail. You just can't leave it. Sucks.

In Hellmann's news I thought of you when I was in the Czech republic and saw an entire display of Hellmann's. Not ridiculously overpriced. Had it not been a weekend trip I would have gotten some, in fact, my husband had to pull me away as I was mentally calculating.

11:22 PM  
Blogger UmmFarouq said...

I'll pass on the shit milkshake. Love that.

Fo' shizzle.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Katya said...

Dix: Would I like Karl Shuman? I know what you mean about the faux words -- they drive me nuts. I don't use slang much anyway because I sound stupid when I do.

12:10 AM  
Blogger melusina said...

I had not heard "chillax" as of yet. I heard "frenemy" on Sex and the City but didn't realize it had picked up steam. I find it interesting how these words weave their way into normal speak, but it doesn't mean I like them.

Yea, there is no way Craig was telling the truth. The thing is, I feel sad that we live in a world where a man has to troll bathrooms and lie about his sexuality instead of just being who he is openly and having a relationship openly, etc.

I'm still surprised you can't get Hellmann's in Germany. We have Hellmann's everything available here in Greece!

1:41 AM  
Anonymous Debbie said...

Hmmm, do you have that annoying voicemail thing from Deutsche Telecom? If the call doesn't get to you (or you own answering machine), then it forwards them off to the voicemail thing which will then CALL YOU over and over, every 15 mins or something between 8am and 10pm until you call its 800 number and get your message? I HATE that dang thing! Every now and then something goes wrong and a call of ours goes to it and later we'll come home and find about 300 messages on our machine telling us we have a message. It's that woman with the sing-song voice that says... well, my German isn't good enough... but it ends like "rufen Sie jetzt __die?__ ein." Aghgh! We don't know how to turn it off either.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Katya, I think you would like Karl Shuman a lot. I'll talk with Mollie and we'll get you a copy. I'll let you know when she gets it together.

Yeah, my voice mail is from Telekom. I think what I need to do is just call them up and tell them to shut that crap off.

8:23 PM  
Blogger teabird said...

Chillax? I can't stand it. Sometimes I go out of my way to avoid using the latest slang. I'd rather sound stilted than trendy.

Personally, I don't want to know how anyone takes his pants down in the bathroom. Whomever thought of sharing that tape with the world should be whipped. (No, bad choice.) Should be shunned!

teabird from Ravelry

4:07 PM  
Blogger BarefootCajun said...

Man, I can't say I heart DixiePeach anymore? Crap.

BTW, I just spewed water through my nose thanks to the visual of Mollie testing the Larry Craig alibi. Molls, you're lucky you didn't get arrested for the same thing. Bwahahaha!

7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it goes further. I saw my parents this weekend- for those of you who do not know me, my parents are Ozzie and Harriet. Nice, sweet, honest folk. Anyway, I told them about the experiment.

My parents were listening intently, and my dad said something about- well, maybe the stalls are smaller in men's rooms, etc
I said "Ok, next time you go in, you slide your foot over and tell me if you can move it an inch over"


Then my mom said '....Or a date?!!"

My mom is a pip....maybe they are more in step than I give them credit for!

Darling Mollie

12:39 AM  

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