Dixie Peach: That's a Step a Step Too Far

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

That's a Step a Step Too Far

It's been a little over a month since we talked to the medical supply guy about getting B a new push wheelchair. He was supposed to call B back to talk with him about what other chairs would be available for him and Mr Medical Supply never did. Not that we cared. This whole push wheelchair thing is a pretty low priority for us. It would be nice to have sometimes but it's not a necessity for our daily lives.

My MIL and Gerd, however, see this situation differently. They're under some impression that if B gets a push wheelchair that he'll be able to go over to their apartment. Nice idea except for a couple things:

A: If B is able to get outside then he wants to know...actually outside! If he wanted to be in an apartment he'd just stay home.

B. B can't go directly into the elevator in my MIL's building. He'd either have to go up or down a flight of stairs.

C. Gerd thinks we can get around this problem by him (did I mention that Gerd's nearly 67 years old?) and someone else carrying B up or down that flight of stairs while B sits in the wheelchair. Jeez louise - he's a disabled human being with virtually no control over his balance, not a washing machine! Is B being a quadriplegic not enough? Are you just working making him brain damaged as well? B's been a quadriplegic for 25 years. His bones are like glass. His joints are delicate. If you drop him, he will definitely break.

Every few days my MIL would ask B if Mr. Medical Supply has called and when B would say that he hadn't, she'd get all twitchy. She's big into following-up everything anyway. But like I said, we just didn't care about it all that much so we'd promptly forget about it.

Today B called his mother around noon to check about some soup she was cooking and wanted to share with us. During the call she said "Today Gerd went by the medical supply place and talked with the medical supply guy and he made an appointment for the guy to come by there tomorrow.".

Oh I'm sorry! Are we now too ignorant to make our own appointments? Gerd is our new liason with the outside world?

"And he'll be there between 9:00 and 9:30."

Noooo. There's only one person we allow in our apartment before noon and that's the insurance company nurse when she comes by for her quarterly inspection. And that's because we have no other choice. I was shaking my head at B as if to say "Uh uh. Not good." and B's was saying to his mother "That's awfully early for me!" and she replied "Well you'll just have to get ready a little earlier!".

"And Gerd will be there too to put you in the wheelchair Mr Medical Supply is bringing by for you to try!"

Oh hell no! That's definitely not happening! There is no way I'm going to be able to get B awake, washed, shaved, breakfasted and dressed by 9:00 and he's really not going to be able to sit up in a wheelchair at that hour. In the mornings his muscles and joints are very tight and cramped and it makes him dizzy to sit upright at that hour, let alone tolerate the jostling it takes to get him in a wheelchair. That sort of thing is for emergencies only and this sure as hell isn't any emergency. B doesn't even give a crap if he gets a push wheelchair anytime this year. And this is before we even take into consideration that it's before noon that I have my chance to do the things I need to do. I've got to get grocery shopping done and housework done and errands run tomorrow morning.

By then B was furious. He has tried very hard to be tolerant of Gerd and overlook any idiocincracies Gerd has but this was too much. We never asked Gerd to go see this guy, never told him to make any appointments and sure as hell never told him that an appointment at 9:00 would be okay. This is the exact sort of behavior that keeps B and I from really ever getting close to Gerd. This sort of control freak crap. It's one thing when my MIL does stuff for B - she's his mother. It's one thing when I do stuff for B - I'm his wife. Gerd is our nothing. He's not related to us. He's never taken care of B. He's not family. He didn't just cross the line - he completely erased it. And he's brainwashed my MIL because she doesn't say shit to him about this kind of interference. It's like last summer when he went to our dentist and made an appointment for B without telling B he was going to do that. He insinuates himself into our lives and it's too much.

B put his foot down and said no - he wasn't going to have this guy come over tomorrow and certainly not that early. My MIL replied "Well that's the only appointment he had! It's already made!" and B said "I don't care. Call him back. Tell him I'm sick. Cancel that appointment.". My MIL called and left a message for Mr. Medical Supply and was told he would call us back for another appointment. She sounded a little miffed but her miffed couldn't even begin to compare to B's fury over this. Normally he's so easy going you have to punch him in the face to get him to raise an eyebrow but today he was seething for hours.

Early this evening Mr. Medical Supply called and B apologized for having to cancel but he just couldn't make tomorrow's appointment and Mr. Medical Supply said he understood and repeatedly apologized for not having called himself in the weeks before for an appointment. He offered to make another appointment with B and what do you know? He had all next week available to come over and meet with us. There was no squeezing B in and certainly no need for us to have met with him tomorrow morning at 9:00. B also told Mr. Medical Supply that he had not authorized Gerd to make any sort of appointment and that it was all being done behind his back.

My MIL is coming over tomorrow afternoon and I suppose B's going to have to have a Come To Jesus meeting with her over Gerd overstepping his boundries. We appreciate his willingness to help but he's going to far and is trying to control freak us. We've already been suspicious that he does it to my MIL already but it's her life and she'll have to put up with it or end it as she sees fit but he's not going to pull that sort of bullshit with us.



Blogger Mahala said...

"Come to Jesus meeting" cracked me up. Mama used to say someone "got took out back behind the shed for a prayer meeting."

I'm with you all the way on early morning, unauthorized visitors.

12:55 AM  
Blogger Significant Snail said...

I love that phrase, "Come to Jesus"..we use that at work now and then.

Wow, Gerd is a control freak. I suppose he thinks he's pleasing your MIL by being 'involved' but he obviously needs a clue or two! Good luck!

2:06 AM  
Blogger Marshamlow said...

It also seems very control freakish that he is so obsessed with B coming to their place. Too bad B cannot have the "Come to Jesus" meeting with Gerd himself.

5:34 AM  
Blogger sari said...

oh hell no doesn't begin to cover *that*.

I wouldn't have had the control B. has, I would have ripped everyone involved a new one before I was even off the phone. I'm not good that way.

9:40 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

My MIL didn't come over on Thursday so things are still up in the air as far as corralling Gerd goes. Maybe it'll be addressed this weekend.

11:25 PM  
Blogger Rositta said...

I haven't had a chance to read your blog recently what with pretty crappy internet and sightseeing but I'm glad you put your foot down. What is it about the German psyche that makes them want to take charge even when it's not any of their damn business?...ciao and good luck

10:25 AM  

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