Buyer's Remorse

I've been wearing glasses since I was ten years old. There was a good twenty-five years where I wore contact lenses almost exclusively but since age caught up with me and I had to switch to bifocals I stopped wearing them except in a few instance when I didn't want to wear glasses and I knew I wouldn't have to read anything. Therefore it goes without saying that in the past thirty-seven years I've purchased my fair share of eyeglasses. And every single time it's a nightmare that leaves me feeling slightly sick afterwards.

My current pair of glasses is a pair that I don't like. I've never been very crazy about how they feel on me and so I don't wear them often. I have a cheap pair of glasses that are more comfortable but I don't see particularly well with them. It was time for me to get a new pair so off I went to the optician.

I tend to buy glasses that run to the conservative side of style. Classic, as the optician likes to call it. Now that I've resigned myself to wearing glasses full time I decided that I would break out a bit and get a pair that would be a little more stylish. More chic. More trendy. Less old lady. I go to the same optician and the same guy helps me each time. I told him that I was looking to get glasses that would be a bit different than my current pair and yet not make me look like an idiot. Heavy plastic frames, intense colors and off-beat shapes are great for some but I am not that some. Regardless of the years I've spent wearing glasses, I don't like them. I have never really felt comfortable in them and I don't think I'm really suited to wearing glasses. I don't have a glasses face. And I can count on one hand how many pair I've had that I have really liked. Actually I can count them on one finger.

I tried on at least a dozen pair of glasses. Some were on the flashy side and I immediately rejected them. Some were of the style I already have and while I was tempted to wimp out and get them I really wanted to get a more updated look. There was a pair that I'd tried on about four or five pair into the process that were good. I kept looking but I returned to them again and again, trying them on over and over to make sure that I could live with them. The legs are plastic and a bit wider than I've ever worn. And they're black. Not super black. Light black, if such a thing exists. The lenses are rectangular but not severely so and the frame around the lenses (they're rimless on the bottom) is a nice blue-gray. They're cute. They add some color and interest to my face. I think.

So I bought them. And while the frames were on sale (I got a third off) the lenses certainly weren't. Know what's the worst part about having to go to bifocal lenses? It's not the fact that it means you're getting older. It's the fact that bifocal lenses cost a king's ransom. I don't like to buy cheap lenses (the ones in my cheap spare pair are crap lenses and it definitely makes a difference in how well I see) but when all the elements get added up I still go into a state of shock. Buying a car doesn't send me into a fit like getting the total cost on a pair of bifocal glasses. The last time I went into such a state of shock was when I bought a four bedroom house.

Now I'm back home and now is when the doubt begins. Are those glasses really that cute? Maybe I was just settling. Maybe I think they're cute but others will see it and think I've lost my mind. And did I make the right decision on the lenses? Maybe I would see just as well if I'd gotten the middle grade lenses and would have saved a hundred bucks. And did I do the vision test right? All that "Is this better? This? Number one or number two?". All that pressure to pick! Did I involuntarily squint while reading the bottom line and didn't realize it? I've just bought a pair of glasses that cost me more than a month's rent and my monthly utilities combined. Have I done the right thing?

Tell you what. The glasses will be ready in about 2 1/2 weeks. If when I get them I feel brave enough to take a picture of myself so you can see them and you think they're terrible, do me a favor. Lie. Or at least break it to me gently because I'm going to be stuck with them for a few years.