Put down the spoon and back away slowly...

I am in dire need of keeping my ass out of the chocolate pudding.

I didn't have any treats in the house for B tonight so I made him some chocolate pudding. Not the good sugar-free Jello kind that my darling bestest buddy, M, sent me last month but the high octane full o' refined sugar kind that my sister sent me months ago - before my diabetes diagnosis.

And it's not the instant Jello pudding either but the cook-on-the-stove-oh-look-at-how-it-makes-a-scrim-of-pudding-crud-on-the-bottom-of-my-pan kind. After it was cooked I poured it into a glass bowl with a snap on lid, as I don't happen to currently own parfait glasses and left it out to cool before putting it in the fridge.

Twice now I've succumbed to temptation and with the rationalization that I was merely scraping off (and eating) the pudding scum that forms on hot pudding. And of course I had to use the spoon to neaten up the top again and of course that scraped off pudding had to go into my mouth as well.

I'm not supposed to be doing this! I'm supposed to be beyond these silly sweets temptations and am supposed to be favoring healthy eating over fat and sugar laden treats.

"But it's chocolate pudding!" I mentally whine.

"And when you have to go on insulin because you couldn't control your blood sugar any other way you'll be cursing every bite you took of it as you jab yourself a couple times a day, you needle phobic shithead!" I mentally scold.

I'm really in a serious slump with this healthy eating, change your life stuff. I don't like it right now. I sailed through Christmas virtually unscathed because it was all new and I was still scared shitless after having blood sugar that measured over 400 but now the fright has worn off a bit because I've been having good if not great blood sugar numbers. And it's Easter and I'm being sorely temped by Milka chocolate eggs.

And by golly what milk chocolate lover wouldn't be tempted by those delightful looking treats? An egg of Milka chocolate filled with delightful looking milk cream? And it comes with a wee tiny purple spoon that you use to scoop out the delightful looking milk cream as if it were the yolk of a soft boiled egg.

A wee tiny spoon! That alone makes me want to buy it!

A-ha! I'm on to something here I believe. It's not the sweets. It's the spoons! Pudding/spoons. Milka egg/spoons. All I need to succeed and to get over this slump in which I'm wallowing is to avoid any delightful taste sensations that are consumed with a spoon!

No pudding. No Milka chocoate eggs. No lemon mousse. No creme brulee.

Thank God you can eat ice cream from a cone!

Hmm. Nice to know my ability to rationalize still works...