Toes and nose

A conversation with B while I turned him in bed onto his right side:

Me: Damn. I hate hitting your toes on the end of this bed! Why can't this bed just be one inch longer?

B: Didn't feel it though.

Me: That's not the point. I'm going to break your toes one day smacking them on the footboard. Why can't the bed be longer? Or more to the point, why can't you be shorter? You're 6'4". It's wasted height.

B: I've been trying.

Me: Doesn't it stand to reason that if you're not using your limbs that they should shrink? Your bones shrink? Your tendions shorten up? Why can't you shrink up like a little old lady?

B: I can only do it like a little old man.

Me: Do they shrink? I know their waistbands get higher. Do little old men shrink or do they just get gigantic ears as they age?

B: I don't know.

Me: And nose hair. They get that long-ass nose hair.

B: I think I'm getting the nose hair thing down.

Me: Tell me about it. I'm the one having to wield the Noseo-Rooter around here.

B: And it hurts.

Me: The pain free toes make up for it.