Dixie Peach: Head banging

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Head banging

It's a little frustrating when you anticipate something being one way and it goes the other way.

"Examples?", you say? I shall supply.

~ Some will remember back to when we moved into this apartment last November and I had to buy a new floor lamp for the livingroom. I'll gladly admit I was never very cranked up about the new lamp but even if I wasn't crazy about the style I did at least expect it to work for longer than a few months.

It's had a stick up it's lampy ass anyway - the reading lamp part has never worked and on a couple occasions it would brighten without cause and then dim again. Or maybe it dimmed and brightened again. Anyway, late this afternoon when I turned it on it began to make a droning sound - the sort of sound you'd get if you crossed a mosquito with a remote controlled model airplane. Being as I'm so clever I turned the lamp off - sort of an attempt at a lamp reboot - and naturally it didn't come back on. I'm guessing the bulb is shot but it could also be that the lamp is a general piece of crap. Sure, I could return it to the store but I have no idea where the receipt is and they'll just exchange it anyway. I have no desire to have another lamp just waiting to crap out on me.

I'm down to having to use the overhead light. The overhead light that consists of four very bright, high intensity bulbs. My livingroom now has all the charm of a jewelry store and I think it's beginning to burn my scalp.

~ Hooray for me! I am finished with my Knitting Olympics project! Look for me to post a photo of it tomorrow. Yesterday I spent most of my afternoon and all of the evening hours knitting until my arms ached and my fingertips were numb. The baby blanket is finished! Yay me! Bring on the gold medal! And you know what else?

It's shite. Complete shite.

It's not just my knitting. The little errors - the knitting equivilent of a two footed landing in figure skating - can be fixed. Sloppy, loose stitches can be tightened. Lumpiness can be done away with when it's blocked. It's something else. It's supposed to be a baby blanket but it's just...just...wrong!

First, this pattern I used is crap. Badly written, typos, errors and numbskull me should have known better than to use a pattern that didn't include the gauge. I was so seduced by the photo of the finished project that I forged ahead anyway.

Second, this blanket is ridiculously wide. Hell, the damn thing covers me, nevermind an infant! And it's heavy. You lay this on a baby and the baby will be fighting for breath.

I could possibly frog it and knit something else but it's knit with two strands held together - just like the pattern told me to do! - and I have never had any success ripping apart knitting with two strands. It always turns into a tangled mess and it causes me to say bad, bad, bad words. I mean words worse than the normal bad, bad, bad words that I say. Therefore I've decided that it's not meant to be a baby blanket at all but it shall be a throw for me. It's just the right size to drape over my shoulders should I get chilly and it's so heavy that it won't easily slip off.

Unfortunately it also means that once again I have failed in producing a baby blanket for my friend Zea's new baby. I can't get the yarn and pattern thing together in the right combination but I'm determined to try again if it means Zea's baby is going to have to use it on her baby.

I think I'm making this too hard. There are a million baby blanket patterns out there and I'm just not matching up the right yarn available to me with a pattern I can stand to knit. It's starting to get ridiculous especially since I could just get yarn I like and make my own pattern.

Reckon I'll go find buy some more yarn tomorrow since I've got to go buy a lamp anyway.


Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

With regard to the lamp, have you considered that it may be haunted? Perhaps a seance is in order?

1:10 AM  
Blogger Dixie said...

Funny you should say that...

Whenever anything weird happend around here - stuff falling for no reason or me tripping when there's nothing to trip over, etc. - I blame it on my husband's father who passed away ten years ago.

And just the other day when the lamp dimmed and then brightened again I said "Knock it off, Vati!".

1:16 AM  
Blogger marshamlow said...

I haven't yet learned how to knit, it is on my to do list. I do however crochet and I am trying to figure out how to sew and how to make my blog pretty. In each of these things I absolutely love the experience of trying to become great. I am crushed when it all sucks. I think that makes us in a way artistic, love the process, you are an artist learning your craft.

I had tons and tons of cute small baby blankets, but my Japanese friend gave me this enormous blanket. Guess which one I used the most and still use today for my two and a half year old?

6:33 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

Design your own baby blankie, Dixie. Go on... you know you want to!

Yay to you on finishing your Olympic challenge!

6:57 PM  
Blogger BarefootCajun said...

Yay, you finished!

On the next try, make sure you go with something that is made for baby stuff. I find it tends to be lighter. I have an adorable basketweave baby blanket pattern at home that I could email to you if you want. Just say the word.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous kara said...

i saw a pattern in a book recently for a baby blanket that was very simple and very cute. essentially, it was blocks of color just done in garter stitch. looked super easy and kind of made me wish i had a baby to knit it for (oh, wait, i do! wonder if i can get it done by march 19th?)

sorry, i was saying - if you aren't looking for a super fancy pattern, something like that might be the way to go. :)

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Robin said...

Dix, where did you get the pattern? I'm trying to decide on a baby blanket pattern for a friend, and one of them is a basketweave. If it's the same one, it'll help me narrow the list.

I know the pattern of which Kara speaks, because I'm pretty sure she found it in one of the knitting books I'm reading. I did a similar blanket of my own design last year, and it was a pain in the ass. Didn't block very well, either, but I think that was operator error.

3:10 AM  

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