...it's half past four and I'm shifting gears

I feel like I've soaked this place in bum out since mentioning my mother's condition. I go to write something and I'm spinning my wheels because I want to lighten up but nothing light is coming to me. Even my Kinder Egg was sinister.

So to that end, let's have a cleansing. A virtual sage burning. Let's do a meme because what lightens the atmosphere faster than a list of questions designed to elicit meaningless, trivial answers about myself?

Borrowed from Katy. Great cook and a devoted mom with an adorable son. She's good folk.

Who is the last person you high-fived?
My husband. He'll swing his right fist up and I'll smack it with my hand and say "Gimme five!". Yes. We absolutely are dorks.

If you were drafted into a war, would you serve?
I suppose so because I tend to be law abiding and rule following but if they ever get down to needing middle aged housewives with big rear ends I'm afraid my paltry contribution won't help. We'll already be doomed.

Do you sleep with the TV on?
Only if I happend to be napping. Never, ever at night.

Do you ever drink milk out of the carton?
No. German milk cartons aren't conducive to drinking straight from them without drenching your chin.

Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Know. And eye kan't unnerstan wi.

Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Bees, wasps, fire ants. Inscets like to menace me.

How fast can you type?
Holding a Hot Pocket or without?

Are you afraid of the dark?
Not especially.

What color are your socks?
All the socks I have are either navy blue, tan or white.

Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
Yes. You think less of me now, don't you?

When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Why it would have been this particular fiasco!

Do you knock on wood?
Only because Amii Stewart seems to insist that I do so.

Do you floss daily?
Twice a day if I'm feeling sassy or if I've just eaten chicken.

Do you wanna Fanta?
Trinke Fanta, sei Bamboocha!

Can you hula hoop?
I haven't tested myself lately but I imagine I can.

Are you good at keeping secrets?
I can't say.

Do you know the Muffin Man?
No, but I know a Sweater Muffin.

Do you talk in your sleep?
No.

Who wrote the book on love?
Xaviera Hollander?

Have you ever flown a kite?
I used to have a collection of kites. I was serious when I said I was a dork.

Do you ever wish on fallen lashes?
I had forgotten until now that people do that.

Do you whiten your teeth?
No. All of my front teeth are capped.

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
I'd like to just smell him.

Have you ever asked for a pony?
Oh hell no! I couldn't get my mother to cut the crusts off my sandwiches, nevermind ask for a pony!

Can you juggle?
No. But my MIL can and I find that weirdly fascinating.

Missing someone now?
I always miss my family and friends back in the US.

Do the chickens have large talons?
Is this one of those questions you ask me and I reply "Yes and they read the New York Times." and then you pass me some secret documents?

Are you ready to rumble?
Why? Is The Rock here? Can I sniff him?

Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
No.

How do you spell relief?
Uh...R-E-L-I-E-F. Bring on that spelling bee!

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Many, many, many times.

Have you ever eaten dog food?
No. Daddy had a job.

Can you handle the truth?
Yes. And don't use that tone of voice with me, Jack.

Do you like green eggs and ham?
I believe you're confusing me with Sam I Am.

Who is your daddy?
Is The Rock available?

Siblings?
I'll take three please. Oh. I already have three. Well then, I'll keep them.

Pets?

Bonnie

No tagging. Steal if you need to shift your own gears.