Dixie Peach: Friday Shuffle - Let's Get This Over With Edition

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Friday Shuffle - Let's Get This Over With Edition

I'm dreading tomorrow.

B wasn't interested in having a birthday party this year but we still have to do some sort of birthday celebration thing with his aunt and uncle. We'd be considered by them to be some sort of anti-social freaks if we didn't and his aunt especially would pout.

I don't want to say I hate these people because that would be untrue. What would be true is to say that I dislike them immensely and being around them causes me to eye sharp objects with warm, cozy feelings.

B's uncle - his mom's brother - is just boring. Bad comb over, no personality, terrible table manners, socially retarded...there's just not a lot there to warm up to. However compared to his wife, he's a dream.

Before I moved to Germany, B would complain to me about her. When I first met her I thought "Oh, she's not so bad.". My impression of her soon changed to "Oh wait...yeah...I know what he means now.". I've had family and friends meet her and have the same initial impression that soon changed to "Gotcha. I understand now.".

B's aunt is boring as well but while his uncle is sort of a nebbish, she's very in-your-face. Loud, controlling, every party, every gathering, every get together has to revolve around her. She knows more than everyone else, she's an expert on every topic and she's not beyond talking to you as though you're one of the eleven-year-olds she used to teach.

I often fight the urge to tell her to belly up to big, frosty mug of Shut-The-Hell-Up.

So tomorrow at mid-afternoon B's aunt and uncle will arrive and the incessant blathering will start. I'll spend my time telling their dog to keep her nasty ass off my sofa and listening to B's uncle blow his nose while everyone is still eating their supper. B's aunt will start talking the moment she arrives and will only stop long enough to shovel food into her mouth or to go into the kitchen to sneak a smoke. And when it's all over I'll say to B "What in the hell was she rambling about?" and he'll reply "I dunno. I wasn't even listening.".

I'm looking forward to this with about the same desire I have for appointments with the gynecologist. The events are quite similar: you're uncomfortable, you have to answer the same questions repeatedly, it's boring and you feel as though your private things are being examined with intense scrutiny but if all goes well you get to go for months and months before having to endure it again. You just get it over with and put it behind you.

So let's get going on the shuffle:
  1. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
  2. Bottle of Smoke - The Pogues
  3. Devil's Dance Floor - Flogging Molly
  4. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
  5. In Dreams - Roy Orbison
  6. James Dean - The Eagles
  7. The Boy Who Never Cried - Steve Earle
  8. From A Distance - Nanci Griffith
  9. Coat of Many Colors - Dolly Parton
  10. Would You Believe - The Mavericks
Hope your weekend is filled with stuff you want to last and last and last.


Blogger MPC said...

Oy. Forget it. Hop the next plane to Rhode Island and we'll party like it's 1985! The Flaming Ball of Doom isn't scheduled to make an appearance until at least the end of June.

11:37 PM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

Dixie, I know you were utterly and downright serious but I had a good belly laugh over the way you described this/them. Maybe that's what you need to do--belly laugh on the inside and make them wonder what you're doing! HA. OH, and don't forget the full moon. You get to howl at the moon tomorrow when you can't take any more!

3:25 AM  
Blogger marshamlow said...

I am so sorry you weekend is shaping up to be this way. I suggest - you invite B's annoying friend and let them entertain you. Perhaps a martini or two before they arrive.

To me life is too short to be worried about what these people think of you, I would perhaps quit inviting them over. Then again, perhaps you can see why my husband and my families never write or call.

3:36 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

At least you won't have to put your feet in any stirrups today.

Unless there is some weird German dinner custom I am unfamiliar with.

Which is entirely possible.

Good luck!

1:03 PM  
Blogger christina said...

Gahhhhhh! My husband has an aunt and uncle just like that but luckily they live in Canada so we rarely see them. They are loud and nosey and annoying and incredibly boring all at the same time and after an hour or so I'm just screaming inside to get away.

Even worse if you live in Germany where people just expect you to invite them over for every family occasion whether you want to or not. I know there have been times whe I've told the in-laws that there wouldn't be a part and they showed up anyway and asked where the coffee and cake was!

Hope it went all right for you.

11:32 PM  
Blogger JT said...

Ack! I have a sister who is just like B's aunt. She's loud and opinionated and has the scariest superiority complex I've ever encountered. I can't spend any time with her any more because she gives me chest pains. I hope B's aunt and uncle don't pain you that way, sweetie.

1:42 PM  
Blogger still life said...

Honey, you nailed it and I don't even have to be there to see. Oh Dixie, you made me laugh-bad hangover...aaahhhh!

Happy Birthday to B anyway?

6:02 AM  
Blogger still life said...

Noooo, I see that Tuesday was the day that the Rocker (later Roller) celebrated.

My Dear B, may your upcoming year be smooth riding, with no steps to block your way.

(because don't you just hate that?)

6:14 AM  
Blogger traveller one said...

Dixie!! DIXIE!! Are you there??
Did you survive the weekend???

7:34 PM  
Blogger Katya said...

Poor Dix. I hope your weekend wasn't as awful as it sounded like it was shaping up to be.

Good shuffle. Do you think I would like Flogging Molly?

8:20 PM  
Blogger still life said...

I meant COMBOVER...COMBOVER, where was my mind?

1:28 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home