And Yet Here I Am

I am blaming it on something I ate. That's the culprit that has left me today feeling like unbridled hell. That has left me feeling as though someone has reached inside of me, taken a large handful of my innards and is in the process of folding and twisting them like a hired clown with a questionable background and smelling vaguely of Pabst Blue Ribbon making balloon animals at a seven-year-old's birthday party.

And whatever it was, the last bite of it was poisoned. I'm certain of it.