Friday Shuffle - We're Not in Kansas Anymore, Toto Edition

Holy bag of socks it was windy today. Not windy as in "My hair's getting mighty tousled in this breeze!" but windy as in I couldn't get my leg inside the car fast enough before the wind blew the door shut on it.

And damn, that hurt!

B's not feeling well again. Stormy weather or sudden changes in the weather or, in the case of today, very windy weather screws him up. It effects his circulation and digestive system and since last night he's felt cramped and bloated and it's kept him from sleeping - and if he's not sleeping, I'm not sleeping.

After spending most of the day trying to get his wonky stomach to stop hurting I ventured out to run a few errands - go to the bank and get some cash, go pick up something for me for dinner since I was kept from doing my regular shopping, and put gas in the car. As I was driving and seeing thin branches blow down from trees I thought it was probably not the most prudent move to drive in this sort of wind - gusts of up to 60mph were seen - but when I passed the a crew from the fire department trying to pull upright from the road a metal fence that had enclosed a construction area I thought that perhaps I could be in more danger than I first suspected. All I missed seeing was an orphan and a Cairn Terrier flying by in a clapboard house.

I ran my errands and started my drive back home. The wind was relentless and while stopped I could feel my little car swaying at times. Then just before I reached home my cell phone rang. It could only be B - only about three people even have my cell phone number - and since I was literally around the corner from home I ignored it. Still him calling me means it's extremely important so after parking the car I rushed up to our apartment and breathlessly asked him what was wrong. If my cell phone rings it's not going to be good news.

I noticed what was wrong right away. The awing we have on our balcony had broken free on one side and was flopping free and ready for just the right gust of wind to blow it right off, likely straight for someone else's balcony or the windows on the backside of the shops in front of our apartment building. Hello Mr. Insurance Adjuster! Hello Mr. Attorney!

Now let the comedy begin. I'm about 5'3". The support poles are about 7' long. And there are two of them, plus the little metal arms that extend or retract the awning. Did I mention that the length of my balcony is just slightly more than 7'? We're not talking about much wiggle room here. And you didn't forget the flapping, flopping awing itself did you? And the plate glass window! The plate glass window I was desperately trying not to smash because the last time it broke it took about seven weeks to get it replaced.

It was going fairly well until I was trying to lay down the support poles. I got one on the balcony floor and that's when the other tipped over and crowned me in the head. Hard. Know the stars and twittering birds that accompany a banged head in cartoons? That's for real. All I was missing was the pointed lump raising from the center of my head.

Jeez, that hurt like a mother scratcher. The curse words I uttered should be reaching the shores of North America any time now.

Somehow I got the awning and its poles all laying on the balcony floor and away from the balcony door enough that I can still get outside. The awning itself is looks like monkeys have been at it but at least the plate glass window is still intact. Too bad I can't say the same for my noggin.

Bixente the iPod's ready to shuffle. I'll be the one dancing with the ice pack on my head.

1. Wildwood Flower - The Carter Family
2. Tiny Little Fractures - Snow Patrol
3. Sweet Young Thing - The Monkees
4. James Dean - The Eagles
5. You Belong To Me Now - Candy Butchers
6. Roots Radicals - Rancid
7. Real Real Gone - Van Morrison
8. Guitar Town - Steve Earle
9. Otro Dia Mas Sin Verte - Jon Secada
10. This Old Heart Of Mine - Isley Brothers

Have a great weekend. And mind your head.