Dixie Peach: Oh the Dottiness of It All

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Oh the Dottiness of It All

I'm tired. Too busy, too little sleep. My motivation to do more than what is absolutely necessary is zero but that's probably fine since I have so much shit I have to do that what is optional doesn't even get considered.

What do I have to do? Write a blog entry. What's optional? Making all tidy with well constructed, well though out paragraphs. You're getting a bulleted list, folks.
  • See while riding the escalator up to the parking deck at the grocery store: A guy coming down the escalator sporting one bad, bad mullet, a raggedy mustache and much too much denim. Accompanying him was what had to be his mother. I wanted desperately to jump the rail, grab the woman by the shoulders, shake her and say "Please! Tell him to get a decent haircut, lose the mustache and get some better clothes. If not for the world at large, do it for yourself. He will never leave home if he keeps going through life looking like that! You're going to have to wash his scroungy underpants for the rest of your life because you're never going to get him married off and out of your house as long as he's looking like that. He will be staying in Hotel Mama forever. Save yourself!"
  • Seen not twenty seconds later after getting off the escalator: A man who had to be well in his 70s sporting a pair of shorts. Magnum PI shorts. Verging on Daisy Duke shorts. These were some short ass shorts. But damn if that old guy didn't have some boss looking legs.
  • If my dog doesn't stop picking up filthy paper from the streets and sidewalk and eating it only to get back home and barf it back up on my carpet, someone's going to take a beating. And I'm afraid it's going to be me.
  • Proof of my genius: The passenger side window in my car hasn't worked in a couple months. During the winter it wasn't a major concern but now that warm weather is here and my car's air conditioner is a 2-55...two windows down at fifty-five kph...I needed to see about getting it fixed. I was afraid that the motor for the window was shot but held out hope that it was an electrical problem - bad fuse or a short in the wiring or something - that could be easily fixed. Yesterday I drove the car over to a friend of the family's to see if he could fix the problem before taking in to the shop for an expensive repair job. Regardless that the car has only just over 18,000 kilometers on it, it's 11 years old and I don't want to sink a lot of money into repairs. And the problem? The child safety button had been inadvertently pushed, disabling the window. You know I can change a flat tire by myself. I can change the oil in a car. Check the fluids. I hate feeling like Miss Mary Doesn't Know Shit About Technical Things because I didn't think about the child safety switch. I didn't even realize there was one in my car. My last car was a ragtop Jeep Wrangler. The windows in that thing operated by zipper.
  • I've been jonesing for coconut all day. Right about now I'd whip some butt to get a Mounds bar.
Look at you. Survived another bulleted list. I'm so proud of you! Just for that you're excused from knitting talk tomorrow. Mostly because I haven't had time to finish any knitting.

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Blogger sari said...

Ah, the joys of child safety switches. At least I have the pleasure of locking the back windows in my car after the 10,175th time of saying "please DON'T roll the windows down AGAIN, OK?"

Then again, I also have to endured 10, 175 conversations along this line:

"Why don't the back windows go all the way down, Mom? Why do your windows go all the way down and ours don't?"

We've only had the car for what, six years? And every time, the same conversation.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous ylva said...

oh, dixie, i was about to ask you if you had a volkswagen before reading what the "problem" was. we have two of them and simply adore our german cars, but they have a serious problem with the windows. and we're in a tropical place... windows are important.

anyways, not commenting a lot but i do pass by quite often and i love reading about your life!



5:02 AM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

I giggled all the way through that and read it to Michael. :D You kill me! Especially the part about the mullet. There's a man in Aachen whose mullet reaches his waist, and he's frequently seen with his mullet-wearing girlfriend, only hers is dyed platinum blonde. They walk plastered together side by side in head to toe washed out denim, like they're joined at the ribcage, and they're about the same height so it's like seeing the yin and yang of mulletdom. I swear when I see them out I want to take pictures I'm so instantly morphed into the 80's. That couple would be the essence of cool where I came from 27 years ago. *lol*

10:58 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Oh Dixie, I love this feisty, slightly pissed side of you! You should get pissed more often... but of course, I'm sure it's a rarity for you because you're so wonderfully even-kelled!


5:16 PM  
Blogger Mahala said...

Mounds rock.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Marsha said...

ha.ha.ha I've done that. Climbed into the back of the SUV to get the groceries because I couldn't get the damn window to roll down, because of the child lock. Didn't even know I had a child lock, and Lily liked to roll it down even during blizzards, we would arrive places with a wet kid. Thanks for the laughs.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Twango said...

Too funny. Those child safety lock things can be moider.

Sexybeast was sitting in the back of my former town car. The child locks were on, so you couldn't open the back door from the inside. He tried to get out, I got out, went around, opened the door so he could get out and do whatever it was he was going to do. I closed the door. He says, hey, how am I gonna open it when I get back.

But then, when he was going to get his 1st apartment at 17, he called his mom and said, I need your help. I really like these apartments, but they have a sign, Adults Only. His mom still teases him about that at all the family functions.

5:01 AM  

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