Save Me a Place

Last week while trying to stave off an enormous personal meltdown I told B that I was tired and burned out. I love him, I love my life and I love caring for him but I haven't had a full 24 hours off in nearly three years.

"Well, maybe you can take a weekend trip somewhere."

I don't want to take a weekend trip. Well, I do but it's not what I really want.

"Do you think I could go home this year?"

B knows how much I miss my family and how I really need to go see my mother before she begins to forget who I am. There's a lot to work out before I can leave but he was willing to take it on. Getting B to agree to this isn't the trick. It's getting my MIL to agree to it since she takes over caregiving duties when I'm gone.

Yesterday my MIL came over to visit. She came back from a two week trip to a spa in Poland on the Baltic Sea all refreshed and rested and I envied her. And I dreaded bringing up the idea of me leaving home for two weeks. About an hour into the visit B mentioned that I'd like to go home for a visit this fall and I cringed inside waiting for her answer. And true to form - because my MIL loves me so much - she said we'd work something out. She's too old to take on the physical demands of caring for B all by herself and she'll need someone to come in and help her but she said we'd find a solution. We're going to look into service organizations and see if they can have people come in and help with various things and there's the option of hiring a nurse from Poland or the Czech Republic (a cheaper solution than hiring a private nurse based in Germany) and there's also the possibility that friends of the family, Norbert and Helga, can help. They're both retired now and there's the added advantage that they also had a son who was a quadriplegic and they know what caring for a quad is all about.

In any case, we should be able to find a solution so I can make this trip. As of now I don't have any dates - sometime between mid-September to mid-October - it's really going to depend on when I can get a reasonably priced flight. I haven't even told my sister yet and this is the sort of thing we never mention to my mother until I'm on the plane but I feel 99% positive that I can pull this off.

And what will I do first when I hit my hometown? What I always do first. Drive straight to Sonic.