East, West, Home's Best

Renate called this afternoon. I immediately started praying that she wouldn't asked to speak to me because I absolutely will not speak to anyone on the phone in German unless I have no other choice. It makes me nervous to do so, therefore I avoid it. However she seemed content to speak with B and it's likely she figured that I was around listening anyway since he has to use a speakerphone.

Renate said she was sorry she couldn't get up with me for another visit before she left town (she works as a caregiver for an elderly woman in Frankfurt - she's on duty 24 hours a day for two or three weeks at a stretch and then she switches with another caregiver and has off two or three weeks which is when she's back here in town). I like her fine and all but not seeing her again so soon didn't break my heart any.

She also mentioned that when she's back here she'll call and maybe she and I can meet up somewhere and hang out. Perhaps have lunch together. Do some girlfriend stuff because she knows I must be dying to get out of our flat for a few hours.

Actually I'm not.

When I was a kid I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I stayed gone as much as I could get away with. I would much rather play at a friend's house than be at home. Growing up in my home could best be described as chaotic and hectic and I really needed to be somewhere else that wasn't so oppressive.

Now I have my own home and I have become a true homebody. I love being at home. Don't get me wrong - I have no problem going out. I'm not one of those folks who avoids going outside - I simply prefer to be home most of the time. I like my flat. I like being with my husband. I miss him when I'm not with him. There are two big reasons I have been able to spend the last eleven years of my life with a homebound person without us constantly fighting and either of us going crazy. The first is that I adore my husband beyond reason and I'd rather be with him than any other person in the world. We never get sick of each other. The other reason is that I simply like being at home.

Cabin fever? I don't really get it. I do need to get outside long enough to get some fresh air and some sunshine on my face if there is some but I don't particularly need to go somewhere. I'm very content to be in my flat and take care of things there, knit, read, talk with B, watch movies together. Go ahead and drop me on one of those little villages on an island in the North Sea. If I can still get broadband internet access and my DVR works, I'll be fine.

Renate will call again in a couple weeks and I'm sure I'll meet up with her for a little mall prowling or to have lunch together and I'll be happy to do that. And without a doubt I will be looking for the earliest opportunity to get back home.