Grace at the end

Yesterday's crash of the Helios Airways flight has disturbed me to no end. Tragic events like that are always upsetting but this one has clung to me in a way I haven't experienced in a while.

From what I can understand from the current news reports the terrible loss of cabin pressure caused the problem but the pilots weren't able to get oxygen like the rest of the people on the plane and it was flying unattended until it finally crashed into a mountain. It's the idea that these people, while likely dying from freezing before the actual crash, still knew they were going to die. The one person sending an SMS message to his cousin to say farewell tells us that much.

And so what disturbs me so deeply is the idea of these people knowing what fate was in store for them. It doesn't seem to be the same sort of knowing that death is around the corner that those who are ill may experience. To me it's more of an one-minute-you're-okay-the-next-you-know-you-will-die thing and that seems terrible to me.

What happens to you when you know that shortly you will die? Are your last minutes filled with terror? Regrets? Do you weep for your fate? Maybe it's the opposite. Maybe you somehow find a sense of peace and resignation that is reserved for such times. Maybe God has provided us a way of shutting off the terror so that our last minutes of life aren't filled with fear. That's something that's always bothered me - the idea that someone's last minutes of life are nothing but sheer terror. I hope that people are given the chance to somehow face their death without fear.

I would hope that if I were ever in such a situation that I could face the last moments of life with some sort of reflection. Some sort of happiness even. I'd want to spend those final minutes remembering how my husband's cheek feels against mine or how soft and clean his hair smells after I wash it. I'd want to think about how fireflies look on a velvety June night or how snow falling seems to have a strange, silent sound. I'd want to remember the excitement of my first day of school or my wedding day or how happy I was to buy a new car. I'd want to remember all the hugs I've ever received. I'd want all those feelings and memories to flood my mind so fully that I wouldn't have any room for fear or sadness or regret.

Bless those lost people. I hope their last moments found their souls at peace. And bless their grieving loved ones and may they eventually find their own sense of peace.