Theraputic Meme

There are few better ways to greet a visitor to your home than by saying hello, warming shaking his or her hand and then dashing to the bathroom just two steps away so you can throw up. Luckily B's physiotherapist knows us very, very well and she didn't bat an eye exept to say "Take your time! If you're not finished by the time I finish his arms, I'll pour the coffee.".

I like to pretend that my wonky gut should be blamed on something I ate or even a virus but I'm afraid it's actually that inner time bomb my gallbladder. The one I like to ignore.

So let's ignore it and take the lazy way out of coming up with any actual content that doesn't involve me purging the contents of my stomach and do a meme. Swiped from Angry Black Bitch. And don't fuss about it making you purge the contents of your stomach.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Amazing how my hair can make two devil horns on top as I sleep...
2. How much cash do you have on you?
375€. Y'all are wondering how much that is in American dollars, aren't you?
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
Score.
4. Favorite planet?
Earth. I like planets where I can breathe the atmosphere. And I already have a place to stay here.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I don't suppose I have one since the only people who have my cell phone number are B and my MIL and they seldom call me.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
The one that tells me that someone is calling me? Seriously, I don't get into that ringtone crap. Just let me know someone's calling and that's fine. I can skip being entertained for the 10 seconds it takes for me to acknowledge a phone call.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
A white cotton v-neck longsleeved t-shirt with flowers embroidered around the neckline.
8. Do you “label” yourself?
No. It's been a long time since I got lost and couldn't find my way home.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
Birkenstock.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
I'm a night person but I prefer bright rooms.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I love any woman like this who can express herself honestly.
12. What does your watch look like?
Uhhh...it straps around my arm and has flat space with numbers on it and on that are two pointy things that show me what time it is.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I was looking at a knitter's online bulletin board and then throwing up. The two events were in no way connected and no connection between them should be inferred.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Just some SMS spam.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Somewhere on the east coast of North American I reckon.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Bitte. The classic German multi-purpose word.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My husband.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My dog, Bonnie.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
My diabetes medication and some anti-spasm pain reliever for my gallbladder.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
You have heard of digital cameras, right?
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Thirty-five was pretty good.
22. Your worst enemy?
Currently it's my wonky gut.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
That standard Windows fall foliage thing.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Is that good?
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
The money. That "able to fly" isn't quite specific enough. Are we talking about Superman can fly flying or some lame-ass arm flapping and I-can-fly-ten-feet-before-collapsing-into-an-exhausted-heap flying?
26. Do you like someone?
Oh yeah! The guy that sits next to me in geometry class is so fine! Maybe he'll ask me to the prom!
27. The last song you listened to?
Ordinary Day by Great Big Sea
28. What time of day were you born?
Straight up noon.
29. What’s your favorite number?
3
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Manassas, Virginia.
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
No.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Well now who wouldn't be jealous of my wonky gut?
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Hanging new curtains in my livingroom.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Send it bad, bad cosmic vibes.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I certainly try to be.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
On my foot.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
I'd say German but then I'd miss the snickering over my dodgy grammar. I'll pick Spanish.
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
What? You mean other than the time I up and moved myself from the USA to Germany for the person I loved? How much more moving y'all want out of me?
39. Are you touchy feely?
No, right now I'm crampy bloaty.
40. What’s your life motto?
Love yourself as others love you.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Lipstick, TicTacs, my passport.
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
Memphis, Tennessee.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Bread from the bakery.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Maybe a month ago.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
I can and have.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I heard the gal he dumped me for divorced his skinny ass.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
I can trace back to 17th century Scotland and Wales.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
I wore a wine colored suit to the 50th anniversary party for one of B's relatives.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
You mean I haven't mentioned my wonky gut enough today?
50. Have you been burned by love?
See Number 46.