Joy Unending

I'm sitting here and trying to decide which part of my day was my absolute favorite. It's not often that I get so many to choose from in a mere fourteen hour period.

There was the part when, while attempting to rinse out the shampoo from my hair, the hot water suddenly cut out. Oh the song of joy I sang at that moment!

It put me in a state of bliss when I drove halfway to the grocery store before realizing that I'd forgotten the deposit bottles I needed to return. I moved on to Nirvana when I started out again, this time getting all the way to the grocery store and then realizing I'd left my purse at home! Whee!

Hey, it could have been when I got home with my groceries, got them all dragged into the elevator and at the last minute had my crazy old woman neighbor from the fourth floor join me for the ride up. I should mention that my happiness was only enhanced by the fact that this particular woman always smells like a combination of stale urine, mildew and general sweaty body funk and it leaves a lingering fog that rivals anything that any Axis of Evil state could even contemplate developing. What fun it is to be trapped with this pleasant woman in an enclosed space while I try desperately not to go into a flurry of dry heaves.

Perhaps it was the five times my dog, Bonnie, thew up on the carpet after she ate or drank too fast. Always on the carpet, not on the flooring in the entry or the kitchen. And one time it nearly landed on our doctor's feet! What fun!

Oh! Oh! Maybe it was the part when Bonnie was taking a crap and it got stuck and she walked around and around and around in hunched down crap position. Like five minutes worth of hunched down in crap position walking. Did I mention the tour bus load of folks walking by to re-board their bus and watching the performance? Such pride I had at that moment.

And since Bonnie has tried so hard to make my day one of roses and jelly beans and rainbows and tiny fuzzy yellow ducks, she decided to yank away from me and slip her head out of her collar and make a run for it. She, of course, waited until the just right moment when I would enjoy it the most - when under my arm was a pile of newspaper I wanted to throw in the recycling bin and in one had was the plastic bag of poop that I was able to retrieve after it finally cut loose.

Gosh oh golly, I was the picture of contentment when I raked my knuckles over the blade of the pizza cutter as I was reaching for the can opener. Such fun! And it was compounded when I opened a can of tomatoes and it spritzed on my new white tee-shirt! Such glee!

Maybe my very favorite moment of the day was when I finally had thirty minutes free to rest and just as I was drifting off to sleep the phone rang. It was Aunt Annoying! Yay! Aunt Annoying was calling to see if my MIL had called us from her vacation at a spa on the Baltic Sea and if she's having fun. Oh ho, Aunt Annoying! My MIL may be having fun, but she couldn't possibly rival the absolute festival of giddiness that's going on around here!

Good times, people. Good times.