Dixie Peach: Joy Unending

Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Joy Unending

I'm sitting here and trying to decide which part of my day was my absolute favorite. It's not often that I get so many to choose from in a mere fourteen hour period.

There was the part when, while attempting to rinse out the shampoo from my hair, the hot water suddenly cut out. Oh the song of joy I sang at that moment!

It put me in a state of bliss when I drove halfway to the grocery store before realizing that I'd forgotten the deposit bottles I needed to return. I moved on to Nirvana when I started out again, this time getting all the way to the grocery store and then realizing I'd left my purse at home! Whee!

Hey, it could have been when I got home with my groceries, got them all dragged into the elevator and at the last minute had my crazy old woman neighbor from the fourth floor join me for the ride up. I should mention that my happiness was only enhanced by the fact that this particular woman always smells like a combination of stale urine, mildew and general sweaty body funk and it leaves a lingering fog that rivals anything that any Axis of Evil state could even contemplate developing. What fun it is to be trapped with this pleasant woman in an enclosed space while I try desperately not to go into a flurry of dry heaves.

Perhaps it was the five times my dog, Bonnie, thew up on the carpet after she ate or drank too fast. Always on the carpet, not on the flooring in the entry or the kitchen. And one time it nearly landed on our doctor's feet! What fun!

Oh! Oh! Maybe it was the part when Bonnie was taking a crap and it got stuck and she walked around and around and around in hunched down crap position. Like five minutes worth of hunched down in crap position walking. Did I mention the tour bus load of folks walking by to re-board their bus and watching the performance? Such pride I had at that moment.

And since Bonnie has tried so hard to make my day one of roses and jelly beans and rainbows and tiny fuzzy yellow ducks, she decided to yank away from me and slip her head out of her collar and make a run for it. She, of course, waited until the just right moment when I would enjoy it the most - when under my arm was a pile of newspaper I wanted to throw in the recycling bin and in one had was the plastic bag of poop that I was able to retrieve after it finally cut loose.

Gosh oh golly, I was the picture of contentment when I raked my knuckles over the blade of the pizza cutter as I was reaching for the can opener. Such fun! And it was compounded when I opened a can of tomatoes and it spritzed on my new white tee-shirt! Such glee!

Maybe my very favorite moment of the day was when I finally had thirty minutes free to rest and just as I was drifting off to sleep the phone rang. It was Aunt Annoying! Yay! Aunt Annoying was calling to see if my MIL had called us from her vacation at a spa on the Baltic Sea and if she's having fun. Oh ho, Aunt Annoying! My MIL may be having fun, but she couldn't possibly rival the absolute festival of giddiness that's going on around here!

Good times, people. Good times.



Blogger goofball said...

Oh gosh what a day indeed. You make me totally jealous!

10:33 PM  
Blogger sari said...

Here's hoping that tomorrow just plain sucks.


10:54 PM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Oh, this was sarcastic? Hm, never would of guessed. ;)

1:02 AM  
Blogger Princess Cat's Pajamas said...

Here's to a joyless day tomorrow...

1:33 AM  
Blogger Mahala said...

Oh man.. I feel for ya. Especially the poop incompletion.

2:19 AM  
Blogger Miz said...

Jeez...will the fun never end?

4:59 AM  
Anonymous titankt said...

You didn't end that day right. Your last sentence should have read: "Heavy drinking ensued."

BTW, I opened a tin of anchovies the other night to use in a Caesar salad dressing and the can spit anchovy oil all over my shirt. Yeah, that was also good times.

Also, I had sympathetic gagging at your description of crazy neighbor in the elevator because I also had a similar incident just yesterday! (I admit, I'm a lightweight since this was the ONLY thing that happened to me yesterday.) There's a lady who haunts the tutoring center in my building. A very large unfeminine woman... indeed I use the term woman loosely. Now, all that may be true but I don't judge a book by it's cover. She could be a really nice person! Funny and smart... who knows? I can assure you *I* will never know because I walked past her the other day and was treated to her rich, oily, well-cultivated BO stench that churned my stomach and caused me to gag twice. I ran away from her and gulped fresh air praying fervently that I wouldn't heave. What is WITH these people?!?! For pity's sake! BATHE!

More good times, huh!

5:04 AM  
Blogger Marsha said...

Sending wishes for less good times to come your way.

I get email notification of airline sales due to my gypsy alter ego I am always looking for an excuse to go fly somewhere. I noticed the Air France is having a big sale, from the US to Germany it is very cheap. I am not sure if the sale works the other way around too? The email I got said you had to make a reservation by May 2 for a trip in the fall or winter. Just in case you are looking thought I would put a bug in your ear.

4:36 PM  
Blogger christina said...

Truly awesome! And all in one day too. I also feel for you on the BO issue. There are people like that who walk around our local supermarket and it really does make you want to curl up and die, doesn't it?

Let's hope good thing are in store for you for the weekend. It can only get better, right? :-)

6:29 PM  
Blogger jafabrit said...

hum, you forgot to click the heels on your red glitter shoes didn't ya!!!!!!

6:49 PM  
Blogger BarefootCajun said...

Aw, sweetie, what a rotten day. Aren't you glad it's over?

BTW, Nate freezes with one back leg in the air and this expression of sheer panic when he gets a dingleberry until one of us retrieves it for him.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Hilda said...

Oh Dixie I do love you! Nevermind that I made a spectacle of myself (like that never happens!) right here in the middle of the cubicle-farm when I hooted out loud when I read about the poopus-interruptus incident!

I think you should just start drinking right now and remain in an extended buzz right through the weekend.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

I love sharing the joy with y'all. I know you can really appreciate it! :)

11:04 PM  

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