For Mikki

Twenty-two year ago my husband had a swimming accident - swimming wasn't actually involved, just a swimming pool. He was twenty-four years old and was in the East German army, quite against his will but since when did the East German government give a damn about the will of its people?

Side note: There's a movie out here now called NVA about draftees in the East German army in the 70s and a scene shows the draftees taking their oath and one after the other puts his hand behind his back and crosses his fingers. B saw this in the commerical for the film and said "I did the exact same thing!".

Anyway, long story short while in the army B fell into a pool into about 3 feet of water, landed on his head, his spinal cord became pinched and damaged and he's now a quadriplegic. He has no use of his legs or hands and only very limited use of his right arm.

Mikki also has a spinal cord injury and she writes about her life in a poetic way. A few months ago she wrote about what she'd do the day before "after"...the "after" being her life after her accident that caused her injury. I told Mikki that I was intrigued by this and I wanted to ask B the same...what would he have done with his day before "after". I finally got a moment where we weren't obsessing over moving and I asked him and the conversation went like this.

Me: Mikki wrote about what she'd do with her day before "after".

B: After her acccident, right?

Me: Right. So let's say you weren't in the army. What would you do with your day before "after"?

B: I'd have lots and lots and lots and lots of sex.

Me: (slightly disappointed because this wasn't the profound or touching answer I thought I might get) That's it? Just lots and lots and lots of sex?

B: Yeah. That's it. And dancing. I'd dance. I loved to dance.

Me: Sex and dancing. That's it?

B: Yeah. The rest I could do now.

Me: No you can't. Plus you have sex now.

B: Yeah, but I mean that sex where I can do anything. Acrobatic sex.

Me: Okay. Sounds reasonable. How about playing soccer?

B: Hmmm...no.

Me: Walk on the beach?

B: Nah.

Me: Just sex and dancing. Well. Okay. How about cooking? Would you cook?

B: No. No work. Just fun. (B had been a chef before going into the army).

Me: What about fishing? Would you go fishing? What about swimming?

B: (giving me that "Now think about what you just said." look) Uh, no. The swimming comes soon enough. And the fishing came when they fished me out of the pool.

Me: Lots and lots and lots of sex doesn't seem like enough.

B: Hey. I'd be planning on having sex for about ten hours straight. Then go dancing.

Me: That's assuming you could still walk. You sure that's all?

B: A bath. I'd like a bath in a really deep bathtub. Lots of suds. A really long bath.

Me: After ten hours of sex you'd probably need it.

B: Then I'd go dancing.

Me: What about riding a bicycle?

B: Nope.

Me: Driving! What about driving?

B: Yeah!! Driving! I loved to drive. And I'd drive really, really, really fast. I mean when it's the day before "after", who cares if they took away my driver's license?

So there you have it, Mikki. On B's day before "after" he have lots and lots and lots of sex, dancing and driving.

Just like a guy, eh?